Internet friend l.h ≪book 1≫

Chapter 27

Luke walked in after the interview, and he had a smile on his face."Hey dork." I say."Haven't heard that name in a bit." He said, and sat next to me on the bed. "Decided to bring it back." I say and shrug my shoulders.

He nods, and pulls me in for a hug."What are you doing?" I ask. "Hugging you." I shake my head, and then I get a text. I pick up the phone, and it's them again.

Unknown: Hey freak

Unknown: How was it cutting yourself?

I turn off my phone, and put it back down on the bed. It kept going off, and Luke was getting confused."Who's that?" He asked."Oh, uh, it's no one." I say. He picks up my phone, and starts reading the texts.

I get up from him, and I walk out the hotel room."Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. I turn around, and Luke's standing a few feet away."I-I didn't want you to worry." I say, and I just wanted to cry. He shouldn't have to worry. He walked up to me, and he's clearly upset."But I don't want you to hurt yourself because of someone." He said.

He looks down at me, and I look at my feet."Did you hurt yourself?" He asked, and I started to cry."I can't take it anymore, Luke." I cry, and he hugs me. "Shh. They're not worth crying for. So did you?" He asked again, and I didn't answer."V?" His eyes looked so scared for me, and yet I still didn't answer him. He lifts up my sleeves, and I started crying harder.

"Why?" He asked."Do you not know how hard it is not to when you've started? Luke, it's so hard, and I don't want to deal with it anymore. That persons right. I'm nothing." I say.

He cups my face in his hands."You are not nothing. You're not a freak, you're not worthless, and you are definitely not a nobody." He said."It feels like it, and it's not like I already know. Luke, I am nothing. I got no purpose, and no one cares. I try so hard not to cry at every nasty comment. I try so hard not to cut myself when I feel worthless. I try so damn hard to keep myself together, but I can't. Don't tell me I'm not something when everyone else agrees. I am a freak, I'm disgusting, and an idiot, fat, and useless. I don't understand why you're trying so hard to help me. I'm nothing worth saving."

"Yes you are! You're worth everything to me. You want to know why I try so hard to help you?" He asked, and I nod. "Because I god damn love you and I'm not giving up on you." He wipes a tear away, and he kisses me."And I wouldn't be able to live without that."

----------------------------------------

I woke up, and I was snuggled up next to Luke. I look at my phone. 2:54AM. Great. I sat up, and then the thoughts came flooding in.

She listens to the truth, and ignores the lies. She doesn't want to hear that everyone's wrong. She doesn't want to hear every single word they said because they all form a lie. Every single word. She wants to believe the lies, but there's no hiding from the truth. But the truth is tearing her limb from limb. It's all destroying her self confidence, and lowering her self esteem. She just thinks she's not worth it anymore. She thinks she's noting. Atleast that's what the truth is.

I closed my notebook, and Luke is still sound asleep."I hate making you unhappy when I'm upset." I whisper, and I grab my crutches. I walk down the hallway, and knock on Michaels door. He opens it, and his hair is all messed up.

"Hey." He says groggily, and I just start crying."Woah. Are you okay?" I shake my head, and he lets me into the room. I sit in a chair, and I put my hands on my head. Michael kneels down, and looks at me."What happened?" He asked."Just my thoughts won't shut up." I say, and I pull my hair in frustration."Don't let them get to you. Sometimes your mind is wrong. Like mines always wrong when I do math." He says, and I chuckle."Thanks." I say, and he nods."No problem. Now go back to sleep." He says, and I walk back to my room.

Luke is up again."Where'd you go?" He asked."I didn't want to bother you, so I bothered Michael." I say."You know you can come to me anytime, even when I'm sleeping." He said."I know, but you stayed up with me a bit yesterday. I don't want you being tired during the day." I say, and walk towards him. I sit next to him, and he cradled me in his arms again."Still. I want to help you, so bother me anytime. Even if it's during a concert, and I'll be running. Okay?"

I nod, and try to sleep in his arms, but couldn't."I can't sleep." I say."Well, then we'll just have to sit here." He said."We could be doing something else." I say, and wink."Weirdo." He said."Sorry, just couldn't help myself." I say, and laugh.