Everything || j.s

Chapter 23

My room felt cold, it looked abandoned. The balcony doors were wide open, the main door was left unlocked, not to mention the state of the room itself. Things that'd been left on both mine and Ellie's bedside tables were scattered along the floor. And finally, to top it all off, Ellie herself wasn't here. Whether she'd snuck out, or what, I had no clue. But why would she leave the place in such a mess?

Her phone was gone too, so I didn't really feel all too worried. Rolling my eyes, I began to neaten up the room, after checking my phone to see if she'd left me any clue at all to where she'd disappeared to.

A couple hours gradually passed, and it was beginning to get dark out. Pacing around the bed, I called Ellie for the hundredth time since being back, since I'd had no luck the first ninety-nine times. Surely she would've contacted me by now. The phone left my suspense lingering as it attempted to reach Ellie's.

"Hi! I can't come to the phone right now so please lea-" I groaned upon hearing the familiar tone of her recorded voicemail.

I ruffled my hair whilst trying to think of what I could possibly do. I was bored, annoyed, worried and most of all curious. Where could she be this time?

When the door unsurprisingly slammed shut behind me, I felt my body jump, before I made my way to the floor of my old friends, who could hopefully help to take my mind off of where the hell my roommate could be.

"Hi!" Tyler greeted me as the door to Zoe's apartment swung open. There wasn't many people there, just Tyler, Troye, Zoë and Alfie. It seemed as if one bed was taken by Zalfie and the other by Troyler. Seriously, had to stop my little shipping heart from exploding for a second, true story.

I couldn't help but smile upon seeing Tyler's joyful expression, it was contagious, along with his laugh. Zoë was vlogging her and Alfie being all cute laying next to each other, so me being me, I decided to get on the bed and lay between them - how great of a friend am I?

"For Gods sake Emma! I invite you into my apartment and you ruin my moment." She whined.
"Yeah but you love me so it's all good." I smiled a cheesy smile, which made her and Alfie giggle slightly.

"El's gone somewhere, the apartment was a mess, and she hasn't taken her phone." I blurted. Zoë stopped looking back on her footage and turned to look at me.
"Oh. Don't worry about it, I'm sure she's fine." She said, comfort in her voice.

She was probably right. Ellie was probably fine. Probably.

"Where's Jaspar at?" I asked in general.

"Not sure, try their apartment." Troye replied, keeping his focus on the laptop on his lap.

I didn't even have to knock on the door before Joe answered, with a slightly nervous expression wiped on his face.

"Oh, hi Emma." He stuttered whilst scratching the back of his neck. "Zo texted me saying you were coming."

"Can I come in or...?" Biting his lip, he allowed me entrance into his and Caspar's apartment, but Caspar wasn't there, and the place was left in the same state as mine.

"Where's Caspar?"

"I don't know." He sat on the bed and tapped his foot impatiently to a none existent beat, I learnt in my few months of being with him that it was a bad habit of his, whenever he got nervous. "I got back here and the apartment was like this, and Caspar isn't here, and he hasn't taken his phone."

Strange, I thought, the exact same conditions were happening with me.

"But, I was thinking, while he's not, can we talk?" His hand gently pulled mine so I would sit next to him.

"Joe," I pleaded. "You know I'm engaged."

"I know. So why would you kiss me?" A solemn look in his blue eyes as he questioned me. "You can't even tell me that it was nothing, you can't expect me to not feel anything, and I'm sure as hell you can't tell me you didn't feel anything either."

I gulped and stood up, searching around the room for a distraction, something to force me not to look at him.
"I didn't." I bluntly stated.

"I know you did."

"I didn't Joe! It was a stupid mistake! I'm in love with a man called Harry Styles, and I'm pretty sure that sounds nothing like Joe Sugg."

So I lied, sort of. I did love Harry, with all my heart, well, most of it.

"Don't give me that bull, Emma!" He stood up as well, now, infuriated. I had faced out of the window, so I only realised he was edging closer to me when the footsteps were getting louder. "Just, admit it!" It scared me slightly when he'd raise his voice, because of how rarely he did it.

"I felt nothing Joe! Nothing!" I had raised my voice now, and when I turned around his body was only inches away from mine, causing me to stumble backwards. "Why would you care anyway? You never even tried to get in contact with me after we'd broken up?!"

"Because, I was hurt, for god's sake! You hurt me! And I was trying to do what I thought you wanted, what I thought would make you happy!" I still tried to walk further away from him, but my back hit the wall. "I thought if I gave you some time, that you'd come back to me. That you'd miss me as much as I missed you over the past two years. But you went and found someone else. You were my everything, Emma. You still are."

"I-I'm sorry." The lies were taking over me. I couldn't disobey Harry, I couldn't. "I didn't feel anything Joe. I have no feelings anymore."

"So, you're telling me, that when I do this, it doesn't give you those little butterflies." He said and turned my head to the right to kiss my cheek. "And you're telling me, that your knees don't get the slightest bit weak, when I call you love."

My eyes were staring deep into his as he said his last sentence.
"And that whenever I do this, you don't feel the slightest thing?" Finally, his lips met mine in a sweet kiss, the loving ones he used to give me when we were dating. The kiss he first gave me after he told me he loved me, and I returned it.

Slowly, it ended and I said my final word before leaving.
"No."

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I'm back?

Hello.

Short chapter but I wanted to end it there.

Thank you all for 18k reads, it's insane.

After all of your lovely comments, I think I'm going to keep this up, but please don't complain if I'm inconsistent.
I noticed this story beginning to grow, and grow with more reads, votes and comments. It's quite scary, but made me realise that I've got to keep going.

Thanks for reading, I'll see you soon.

-Em x