Everything || j.s

Chapter 24

Harry deserved none of this, he'd done absolutely nothing to me, and yet I'd let my stupid feelings get the better of me, even after promising I wouldn't let anything happen.

The feeling of disgust for myself was almost overwhelming. However, not as overwhelming as the cold and emptiness that fled through the place I called home. Memories filled this household, and every single one of them reminded me that I was a dirty, dirty cheater.

Sure, I hadn't done anything drastic, and Joe did make all of the moves, but just allowing myself to go along with it sickened me to the point where I couldn't even look at my own reflection the same way.

The sun was slowly setting, so when I decided to look in the mirror, the person staring back at me looked even worse than I had expected. My eyes were drooped and the dark circles underneath them made the grey colour of them seem even duller than it usually was. The paleness of my skin didn't even look natural, I looked ill.

The only thing I wanted to do was Skype Harry, but that was also the last thing I wanted to do. His innocent smile would make me feel even more guilty, and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself together after hearing his voice. The right thing to do was to tell him, but I was afraid. It was pathetic really. I'd done wrong, therefore I had to deal with the consequences of my actions, but it was petrifying knowing what one thing could do to our relationship. And it wasn't even one thing.

"SURPRISE!" A voice screamed from behind me. And that was all I needed to hear to make the tears flood my eyes. I bit my lip and blink to rid them before turning to face the man who knew so little.

"Harry!" I smiled, wrapping my arms around him. "What are you doing here?"

"We were given two weeks off, so what better to do than surprise my beautiful wife - to - be as she arrived back from her trip?"

I kept my grip firm on him so he wouldn't let me go and see the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Babe, I know you've missed me, but I really need to pee." He chuckled, and I sniffled as I released him so he could look at me.
"Hey, don't cry." He spoke, catching a tear with his thumb.

"All happy tears, Haz, don't worry." I lied and sent him an all too fake smile, I'm surprised he actually let it go.

"Come here." He joined our lips, which sent a warm feeling throughout me before heading upstairs to the master bathroom.

He was home, he was who had my heart, not Joe - I told myself.

"Hey, Em, you left your phone up here, do you want me to bring it down?" He shouted.

"Yes, please." I attempted to shout but it was more of a raised whisper.

I parked myself onto the sofa and leaned my head back, sighing. Maybe telling Harry wasn't the best idea after all. I knew that it was a mistake, and that it won't happen again, so I might as well just try to forget about it. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and I'd rather it stay like that.

"Care to explain?" Harry's voice startled me, as my phone was held in front of me, a single message causing it to light up.

The contact name read a name that I hadn't seen flash across the screen in over a year; Joe.

You left without saying goodbye. I believed you when you said no, but I can't help but wish that you'd said otherwise. I miss you.