Almost Normal

Chapter 20

A/N-Hey guys, I've finally updated! I know that it's been a long time, but school has been kicking my ass lately. But I stayed up very late just for you guys, cause I know that many of you have been wondering when this chapter would be posted. And also, thank you for 6k reads! I seriously love you all so much, and also don't forget that you guys are still able to draw a scene from this story if you would like! And so without further waiting, here is chapter 20! Happy Reading!-Zenovia

!Warning!:Descriptions of depression, and trigger warnings.

Armin's POV

Chapter 20

"Keep Breathing.

Don't make a scene, just breath, and he'll think you're okay." I had to tell myself.

"Levi and I are dating!" The words ring through my mind like church bells calling people to come and pray, but my prayers aren't answered. They were forgotten, and instead, they became my fears. I'm holding back,everything. Tears, screams, just everything that's bubbling up inside of me, waiting to explode onto the happy couple. Look forward. Stare into the emptiness because that's all I'm feeling right now. I've been forgotten, like a piece of luggage left on a train. My nightmares are staring right back at me, and I have no way of waking up.

In the fall, I thought they were just random dreams. Just dreams that scared me once in awhile. I should've known the signs as they were starting to string together. I should've ran away the minute I got to this bonfire, so maybe, I wouldn't have to feel my heart break inside. Everything hurts. I've lost him. I know this because before, he used to be able to detect whenever I was feeling sad or upset, with just a certain look in my eyes, but now...he can't see the difference between feeling shocked, and being completely shattered to the point where there is no chance trying to put the pieces back together. He smiles, as I scream in silence.

"T-That's great, Eren. Congratulations!" I croak out. "Smile through the pain." I look at Eren and Levi, and I grit my teeth as I smile. All of the others around me seem to get the memo to act happy as well. After a few seconds, smiles and laughs are exchanged, and Eren looks like the happiest guy on Earth. His eyes are glimmering and his smile is so wide, that his cheeks will probably hurt in the morning.

Everything becomes background noise as I stay sitting for the rest of the bonfire. I feel numb and useless. I bite my cheek harder and harder as the time passes. I bite it so hard that I can feel a metallic taste in my mouth. I watch with teary eyes, that are waiting to fall down onto my cheeks like a waterfall.

But my torture isn't over for the night. Every time I look at Levi, he seems to propel himself closer to Eren, just to play with my heartstrings. The puncture wound in my heart gets deeper as I watch his endless game. More blood seeps into my mouth and I begrudgingly swallow it. The sight in front of me, and the blood rushing down my throat makes me want to vomit until I can't breathe anymore.

Levi's hand finds Eren, and then they're pressed up together, and a blush decorates Eren's face, and my hands start to shake. I can see people's eyes on me. They're just waiting for me to explode, to destroy everything in my path once I finally let go of holding back. But I can't let that happen, but the closer that Levi get's to Eren, the more I feel like I'm going to explode. And then the absolute impossible happens. Everything moves in slow motion as I watch the scene unfold in front of me. Levi and I make eye contact, and he smirked happily, then turns his attention to Eren. "Hey babe, I think you have something on your lip...let me help you take care of it." Eren looks confused for a millisecond, right before Levi and Eren's lips crash onto each other.

My heart stops.

My mouth falls open. The wound on the inside of my cheek stings from the fresh air hitting it directly, but honesty, I couldn't care less as my eyes water over, and finally, a single tear slides down onto my cheek. It's just enough for me to release, without exploding. But as I continue to watch them kiss, with Eren holding onto Levi's cheek adoringly, and Levi wrapping his hand around Eren's waist, I can feel more tears on the verge of flowing over. Eren looks so happy kissing Levi, much more happy than he did when he kissed me.