Once In A Lifetime (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen: A Feather In A Hurricane

"Kate? Baby what're you doing here..." John whispered, somewhat slurring as he looked up from the floor to met my gaze, his eyes glassy and distant... Sad.

"I came here to look for you... I'm so sorry, if only I knew I would've came sooner..." I said, feeling more awful than I could ever have imagined to feel right now. I came here thinking the worst, thinking that the worst thing that could happen was catch him with someone else... But it wasn't like that at all.

No, this was much, much more horrifying.

"It's not your fault, Kate... This is my problem. You should go home, you shouldn't be here..." He slurred, probably a result of the alcohol I could smell on his breath, eyeing the three empty bottles of Jack Daniels beside him - last I knew, he didn't drink. Something must be wrong... Terribly wrong. I immediately separated my feelings, my anger and confusion about the past week, from this exact moment. That didn't matter anymore, because all that mattered was him. I hoped to God everything was okay, but judging by my instinct and the reality of where we were, it really wasn't okay.

"I'm so sorry Katy..." He attempted to say to me, looking up to me, his eyes meeting with my own before he started breaking down, my arms still around his shoulders as I kneeled down to his level. It was awful seeing him breakdown... Almost as if this really was telling me this was serious. It almost made me uncomfortable, and definitely a shock to my system to see such a strong man cry, because I knew he was never one for crying - it just wasn't his type. His strength was something I always admired, actually - but I guess we all couldn't stay strong forever.

"John it's okay..." I whispered into his ear as I placed my body on the floor beside him, and he rested his head on my chest, sighing, and I combed my fingers though his long locks of brunette hair gently as the both of us sat in silence.

"You're such an Angel. You deserve so much better than this... Than me. There's so much more out there for you, Katy," He whispered, sounding almost as if it wasn't even him talking - that he'd stepped out of his body and let his emotions take over his entire being.

"But what if I don't want anything or anyone else, what if I want you?" I said back, full of honesty. It was true... I didn't want anyone else. I didn't know why he was questioning himself, or us, or this relationship. I felt awful that he felt this way, but I was determined to put him in his rightful place.

"I think we should-" He stated, and I didn't even have a second to think about it properly before I knew what was about to come out of his mouth.

Hell no, he's not going to do this to us right now. We need each other.

"I'm going to get you to stop that nonsense right now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, baby. Whatever it is that's troubling you, we're going to get through it together, okay?" I said, moving my body slightly, his face moving from my chest to look up at me as I laid both of my hands on his cheeks.

"I don't think this can get better. Besides, it's my problem, no one else's, I should be able to just deal with it myself..." He sighed, moving away as he combed his fingers through his hair, slouching against the wall beside me. What a mess... This whole thing. I felt so awful, all I wanted to do was cuddle into him and tell him things to make everything better, to make everything okay.

But this was something I couldn't handle.

"Sure it can. Baby please tell me what's wrong, I'm worried about you... I hate seeing you like this. Here let's get you up, c'mon," I said, moving around as I placed a hand on his shoulder, the other in his hand, pulling him up, John towering over me as he stood up, his steps tiny and groggy as I slowly directed him towards his bed, where I propped up a pillow against the headboard, patting the blanket for him.