Fallen

Chapter 12

I looked down, not being able to look at him in the eye as I felt his eyes on my hideous body. I picked up my dress off the floor and turned away from Conor. I began to slip it back on my body, trying to cover up but he grabbed my hands and twirled me around to look at me. His eyes pierced into mine and he pulled me into a tight hug and held me for minutes. More tears rolled down my cheeks as I stood in my bathroom half naked. I have never shown anyone my body since I had the accident.

“(Y/N)…” I looked up to him and he wiped away my tears. I shut my eyes trying to ignore the fact that he was still looking at my body.

“I know what you’re thinking. I’m hideous.” Conor let out another little gasp and I snapped my eyes open again. “It’s true isn’t it? That’s why I have never shown anyone THIS before.” I pointed to the scar that started from under my left breast down to my hip. It was a pink colour and was very noticeable. It stopped me from wearing revealing clothes, swimming and even being intimate with people.

“(Y/N), you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and this scar doesn’t change anything. You are still the same beautiful girl I know, this scar shows who you are and every part of you is beautiful, including your scar.” Conor traced his hand down my scar and I flinched at the touch, not used to anyone touching it before.

“I hate it Conor, it makes me feel ugly and hideous and unnatural-” Conor cut me off before I could finish.

“You are none of those things (Y/N). In my eyes you are gorgeous.” I rolled my eyes at him and he raised his eyebrows at me.

“Yeah Conor, in your eyes, but what do I look like in everyone else’s eyes? People would stare and whisper behind my back ‘look at her’ and I don’t want that. I never asked for this.” I pointed to my scar again and Conor grabbed my hand in his.

“Fuck what everyone else thinks, as long as you and I both think you’re beautiful it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. They’re heartless little shits if they say something about you (Y/N), people like that disgust me. You are perfect.” I smiled at Conor’s kind words and he placed his lips on to mine. Conor pulled me into my bedroom and laid me down on my bed, he laid next to me and stared at me through his long lashes. “How did you get the scar anyway.” I closed my eyes thinking of the memory all over again. “(Y/N)?” I kept my eyes closed when I spoke.

“When I was 16 I was driving home from school with my dad. I had my seatbelt on, my dad didn’t, we crashed, I made it out with nothing but this scar as a reminder. My dad on the other hand didn’t. I miss him so much Conor…If he would have just put his seatbelt on then he’d still be here but he didn’t and he isn’t. He’d be at home with my mum and I’d go round and see him as much as possible and tell him I love him as much as I could but I can’t Conor. I can’t.” Tears were streaming down my face and Conor kept silent. He just pulled me into his chest and we laid there for a while. “And the worst part of it all was that the last thing I said to him was I hated him…all because I couldn’t go to a stupid party with my friends. I told my own father I hated him. I can’t take that back. I wish I could take those words back and tell him how much I love him but it’s too late now. And every time I look at my scar, I think of him and that day…I miss him Conor.” Tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face now and Conor stroked my hair trying to comfort me.

“I know you do (Y/N)…I know you do…”