Fallen

Chapter 29

Your P.O.V-

“Excuse me, nurse…” the large lady turned around with a warm smile on her face as she was preparing my dinner by the side of the room.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Can you get someone for me?” she sighed to herself.

“Sweetheart, you know the rules, no more visitors till tomorrow morning, if I could I’d get them for you but I can’t…now I can’t get someone fore you but if you ‘secretively’ left without me noticing than I guess that would be okay…” she gave me a wink and I beamed a smile at her. “I’m just going to turn around…don’t you move.” I laughed but quickly got off my bed and ran over to the door. I immediately caught sight of Alex by a coffee machine.

“Alex!” he spun round at me and gave me a little smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. I walked over to him and he waved when he got to me. “I need to speak to him.” He shuffled his feet and stared at the ground while he spoke to me.

“I-I don’t know if that’s a good idea (Y/N)…do you want to destroy him anymore than you already have? He loves you and you loved him and now that you can’t even remember him…how do you think that makes him feel?” I began to argue back but he put a hand up to stop me. “I know this isn’t your fault but if you can’t remember him why do you even need to see him? Do you want to make this even harder on him than it already is?” I shook my head at him and tears started to gather in my eyes.

“I believe you though…now I do anyway…when you first told me I thought you were fucking with me but then the doctors spoke to me and I couldn’t believe it…they told me everything that had happened, how I thought Conor had died and I tried to end my life so I could be with him and now I’ve got something fucking wrong with my head.” I hear an old lady tut behind me as I cursed. I glared at her and she soon turned her head from looking at me. “I must have really loved him…” Alex nodded his head at me in agreement. “I wish I could remember, I really do, I’d give anything to remember what I felt for him but I-I just can’t…I feel and remember nothing…” Tears streamed down my face but I quickly wiped them away. “Does he hate me? You know because I can’t remember him?” Alex shook his head immediately.

“He hates himself…before he got stabbed his brother kidnapped you, the son of a bitch. He blames himself because if he would have looked after to better then neither of you would be in this situation. He loves you (Y/N), he could never hate you, no matter what you ever do. Even if you walked out right now and he’d never see you again, he wouldn’t hate you, he’d just hate himself. You were the best thing that ever happened to him.” I smiled slightly at his words. “Maybe I was wrong…maybe you should go and see him, I’m sure he’d want to.” I nodded my head and Alex led me to his room. “I’ll leave you two to it then.” He hugged me and then walked off in the direction we came from. I put my hand on the door handle and took a deep breathe in before I entered. I pushed it open and saw Conor sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Even though I feel like I don’t know this boy, my heart ached for him. The pain he was feeling right now, and it was all down to me. “Conor?” his head snapped up and his eyes were red and puffy with a stray tear making its way down his left cheek. He wiped it away and gave me a little smile.

“Hey there (Y/N).How are you feeling?” I shrugged my shoulders at him.

“Got a broken arm,” I gestured to it. “And a fucked up head,” I pointed up to it and he smiled again slightly. “I’m sorry Conor…” I stared to walk over to him and sat next to him on the bed.

“For what?”

“Everything. For not remembering my boyfriend for one…Alex told me you loved me a lot.” He nodded his and more tears streamed down his cheek. My heart ached once again for this stranger in front of me.

“I still do…I always will. I wish you would remember me, I wish so badly that you do because I don’t want to lose you (Y/N)…I know I’m here physically to you but in memories…you don’t remember anything do you?” I shook my head at him. “3rd of May, Alex’s birthday party, that was the day I first met you,” He smiled and I couldn’t help but smile slightly with him, “You hit into me by accident and I remember thinking straight away how beautiful you were. I got your number and then I left you to it…until the next morning.” He gave a little laugh. “I woke you up which you weren’t too happy about because of your hangover, I woke you up because I just wanted to hug you so bad, just to say goodbye. And then I took you on our first date.” I smiled to him, encouraging him to carry on but he didn’t.

“Where do you take me?”

“To a restaurant called The Albert. That’s where we really got to know each other and I just loved spending time with you. That’s when I knew I wanted to see you more.” 

“Will you tell me more?”

“I don’t think we have time to hear all of it.” He gave me a little wink, his obvious cheeky side shining through.

“Well…I have a lot of time…” he looked up at me through long lashed and I gave him a warm smile.

“I’d love to…” He placed his hand in mine and it was then when I realised why I fell in love with this boy I can’t even remember.