Possibilities [Phil Lester]

Chapter 8 - Permanently Sceptical

[A/N : if anyone wants to arrange for me to meet Phil that'd be great thx]

[Riley's p.o.v]

"Yeah, that'd be good, love. Jus' come to the back and say yeh're here to do a show, they'll let a pretty lil thing like yehself through." The pub owner said, winking at me, making me feel thoroughly uncomfortable.

To be honest, this pub was a complete dump, but in such short notice, it was all I could get. I was thinking. of just doing an old set, one I knew inside and out. One I could get done quickly, but as good as I usually am. I can't have a repeat of my last gig, that's just not acceptable. I don't really care about what others think, it's my own opinion I'm concerned about. If I don't feel I'm good enough, it eats away at me until I can 'make it up' to myself, in a way.

I took up a slow stroll to get back to Phil's apartment, feeling pretty good. I had a sort of photographic memory, so I had memorised a bit of the way to the apartment all ready.

I took in my surroundings as I walked, the bright sunlight making the crisp air not feel too bad. It washed over my face, raising my spirits even more. I felt...elated. I found I had completely stopped in the middle of the pavement, my head tilted towards the sun and my arms outstretched slightly, almost as though I were about to fly. The rushing business people were shooting looks that could kill at me, blocking the walkway.

I rolled my eyes and started walking again. I had walked peacefully for about 5 minutes and was about to turn the corner when a giggling young couple bashed into me, almost knocking me over. The girl in the couple, who had dark hair cascading down her back and dark eyes to match, rolled her eyes and kept walking, trying to pull her boyfriend on. However, her boyfriend, a young guy with blonde hair sticking in all directions and a permanently sceptical look stuck out his hand to help steady me.

"Sorry, love." He said, with what seemed like a South African accent.

I nodded in response, pulling my hand from his strong grip as his girlfriend tugged him away, into the busy main street. I shook my head and smiled, continuing on my way.

I wonder what it would be like to have someone love you more than you could have thought possible. You know how in all those songs they sing about sitting on sand and stuff like that. I wonder what it would be like to have someone whose best part of the day is seeing you, holding your hand and touching your face. Someone to dote on you, spoil you and take you on fancy dates and picnics. Just someone who loves you, forever and ever. Hm.

I turned up at Phil's door and knocked, leaning on the doorframe as I waited for it to open. Soon it opened to Phil's face, without expression but then when he saw my face his features visibly lit up.

As I was ushered into the flat it made me think of how Phil had kissed me last night and then we both had written it off, pretended it never happened. I don't even know if we're doing it on purpose.

"Did you get a gig?" Phil asked, rather excitedly.

"Yes!" I laughed at his eagerness. "Just at some dodgy old pub, but it's alright."

Phil and I sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before I spoke up.

"Where's Dan?" I asked.

"Dan?" Phil said, suddenly seeming a lot less interested in the conversation and finding the stitching in his jeans incredibly fascinating. "He's uh... In his room, I think."

"Ok. So," I spoke quietly, steering away from the topic. "What sort of Internet stuff do you guys do?"

"We make videos on YouTube. Kind of, vlogging stuff."