Tedious Deeds

Chapter 1

My brother and I have gone through a lot. We've had each other and no one else for so long, it feels like a lifetime. I could never let him know my secret, my need. Just the simplistic thought of him turning me away is enough to lead me into a state of undignified trepidation. I don't know what I'd do without him. Beyond my addiction, there was only him. He was the core. He was my anchor.

When we saw our father butchered by a madman, we knew we were permanently glued to each other. I could never let him go. He was the only sane thing that came out of what happened.

As he walked in I noticed a slight edge in his pace.

"Whoa, what fell in your coffee this morning?"

"Save it Cass, I've got enough bullshit going on at work alright."

"I'm just asking what's wrong with my big brother, I'm a concerned little sister looking out for her brother. You know- like good citizen's do."

"Well, you take that concern and shove down the throat of someone who gives a shit."

"Alright.. Ok I'll leave you alone."

I really need to work on my social skills. He then took a towel and went around the corner to take a shower. I never realised how small the apartment was until that moment.
The light grey wood floors helped with that. The cream coloured curtains helped contrast the dark leather futons from the grey marble sink in the kitchen. The sumptuous grey rug under the small dining table helped bring in some texture aside from the soft stone tiles that outlined the washroom's interior. Crazy how our small ass apartment projects the constant feeling tugging my insides, black and white.

As Josh, my brother, steps out the shower I spot a bruise on his shoulder.

"You promised you wouldn't get into any more fights!"

"I haven't gotten into any fights, mind your own god damn business"

"Then what's that on your shoulder huh? Let me guess you bumped it on a 'pole' on your way to work."

"You don't understand," he muttered.

"I understand just fine. It's been eleven years! When are you going to see a therapist? I get dad died-"

"Shut up! You don't understand what I'm going through," He yelled. His shoulders were broad and intimidating.

"I don't understand? I was there! One more fight and you're out. Do you understand?" 

"I don't need this from you!" Josh retorted. 

"Right back at you, bro!" I declaimed, making sure to add some sarcasm to my ending. "You're a real dick, a grade A fucking asshole."

I took my brown bag and stormed to the door. I swung it open and ran to my car. That's when the urge came full force. I needed a victim or I'd crumble. I promised I'd wait, but it was useless with what's been going on. I started my car and headed for the hospital. Tonight a victim would lay across my table.