Forgive Me (complete)

16

"I'm not doing it," I said defiantly.

"I think you will. If you don't, I'll go crying to Michael again about how you can't stop sleeping with Damian and how much I want to forgive you but you won't let me," she responded.

Fucking Avina.

"This is insane. What makes you think he would even want a threesome?"

"It's Damian," she said blandly.

Well, she had me there. Truth be told, he probably wouldn't protest it but I had never done that and I certainly wasn't about to start. Michael would never forgive me and I couldn't live with myself.

"What he really wants is you," I tried.

"Don't give me that. Yes, he loves me but he isn't interested in me sexually yet because I don't know what I'm doing. He hasn't even tried since-" she quickly cut her bitter rant off.

"Since?" I prompted.

She sighed, "Since the first time...when you left, after a few months I finally pulled his attention enough to seduce him once and ever since then he hasn't been interested. You have this hold on him that I can't seem to master but, that is going to change because you are going to coach me through his preferences."

"I won't. You can't fucking make me either."

"My rank is so far above yours I can make you do anything I want. As your future queen,"

Please, for the love of God don't say it.

"I command you, Katrina, head deal maker of the Underworld, to submit to my every need,"

Please, stop. Please, please don't finish the bind.

"No," I begged quietly.

"And the need of anyone I deem important. This command will bind you until I see fit to release you."

And just like that, I knew I lost Michael. I broke into tears as she finished the command that would ruin me forever. I covered my mouth but the sobs tore through the Realms with such sorrow I was certain every living creature simultaneously felt my grief.

"Please, don't do this!" I begged her.

It was no use. I was left alone to await her call whenever she deemed the right time. I was her servant until the end of time if she wanted.

There had to be something someone could do. I had to find Michael and tell him. She hadn't bound me to secrecy which I was thankful for. She was too naive to bind me that way as well.

I found Michael at his usual podium allowing souls into Heaven. I practically ran to him still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Michael! I need your help," I cried as I gripped him like the worlds were ending.

"Katrina," he said in deep shock as he wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair, "What happened?"

"Avina! She went bat shit crazy and bound me!" I cried desperately.

"Bound you? To what?"

"To herself! She is making me have a threesome with her and Damian because she doesn't know what he wants! She's fucking crazy! Please, I-I need you," I begged him.

He held me back a little to look at me skeptically, "You expect me to believe that Avina, an angel more pure than any of her rank, has bound you to her sexually?"

I stared at him a moment. He didn't believe me?

"You don't believe me?" I asked, broken.

"Think about what you're telling me."

"Why would I make this up?!"

"Did you sleep with Damian again?" He asked dangerously low.

"No!"

He clearly did not believe me. I ripped my body from him as the old rejection wounds reopened.

"And I am supposed to believe that?" He asked.

"I-I thought..." I started but realized it was pointless. He would never believe Avina could do something so cruel. It was easier to believe I was lying. Isn't that fucking ironic?! I couldn't figure out why he always thought I was lying when I had been more honest and upfront than any of them. Even if my truths were ugly and would hurt me, I prided myself in knowing I never, ever lied.

"You thought what? That I would go against my fellow angel and believe some insane story you probably fabricated?"

I violently wiped my tears away, furious he would say something like that.

"I don't understand you, Michael. I came to you for help and all you can do is defend her. All you angels are the fucking same self-righteous asses," I ranted.

"You are unbelievable. Being together once does not give you freedom to dictate who I am able to believe and to be quite honest, Avina has a clean record in the honesty department."

"Fine. If that is what you want to believe then I give up. Don't blame me when she makes me fuck Damian."

"Makes you," he scoffed, "It is inevitable. You really are heartless, aren't you?"

"I'm heartless?!"

"You are."

"I love you," I said accusingly.

"You don't know how to love, Katrina. You lost that ability when you sold yourself to Damian."

Ouch. Just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about myself, he calls me out on more indiscretions.

"You're wrong," I denied, "I may be incapable of sympathy or empathy but that doesn't mean I can't love."

"That is exactly what that means."

I shook my head. Adonai told me to be myself and that was exactly what I planned on doing.

"I know for a fact that isn't true. I've loved Damian for a century so I know I am fully capable of the emotion," I said darkly.

His dark expression was enough to tell me I got under his skin. Good. He needed a taste of his own medicine.

"You will never say that again," he demanded.

"Or what? Are you going to bind me too?"

"Do not test me, Katrina."

"You're not going to do anything, Michael! You're going to let Avina make me into a cheap whore and then get pissed off when I tell you what happened. You know why? Because YOU are incapable of loving me. You have your head so far up Adonai's ass you don't know your thoughts from His! I know you care for me but you're so fucking brainwashed you can't let yourself love me," I practically screamed at him, successfully drawing the attention of everyone in a ten mile radius.

I decided I said enough and disappeared to Earth, awaiting that psycho bitch to call on me.