Spellbinders Secret

Rejected Invitations

Dinner that evening was somewhat awkward. Callum kept glancing at me and blushing, and I did my best to ignore him. I noticed that the King and Queen were staring at us curiously. King Robert looked baffled, but Queen Lilliana only appeared to be... amused? I wasn't sure, but something told me that whatever she thought was funny, she was keeping it to herself.

As the servants served us our meal, which was roast beef, King Robert spoke.

"Callum, soon you'll be 17. What would you like to do for your birthday?"

Callum stares at his plate for a few moments, as though the pieces of meat and vegetables were the most interesting things in the world. I knew what he was thinking.

For his last three birthdays, Callum has sat in his room, refusing to come out. He hadn't allowed any celebration, and had refused to see any well wishers. And now, he was afraid of being around so many people after being secluded for a long time.

"I- I was thinking... a ball, perhaps? A grand celebration and a night of dancing," Callum proposed. Now I was the one who was staring. I mean, a ball. A room full of busy people talking and dancing and asking questions. Yeah, good luck with that my friend.

"What an excellent idea!" Queen Lilliana exclaims. "Who will you invite?" she asks excitedly. Callum smiles at her enthusiasm and quickly becomes more confident.

"I was thinking of inviting all the monarchs and their children, as well as some Emeraldian nobles, oh, and..." Callum glances at me. I raise my eyebrow at him, wondering why he could possibly be looking at me like that. "Ella. I would like you to attend, not as my protector, but as my friend."

My eyes widen and my stomach feels so full of butterflies that I consider not eating. A million different thoughts and emotions rush through me, like racing cars going around and around a track. I'm happy he wants to invite me, scared because I don't know why, and sad, because I can't, I just can't. I don't do balls, or dancing, or ridiculous dresses, and that's just the way it is. I look around the room to find that the Queen is wearing a knowing smile. I don't like the fact that she seems to be aware of something I'm not, but I ignore it. The King on the other hand, just looks shocked. I can't say that I blame him. As for Callum... well, he just looks hopeful.

"I'm sorry, but I must decline. As kind as inviting me to your birthday ball is, I cannot accept. Balls just aren't... my thing," I say clearly, with no emotion whatsoever. Callum's face falls, and I know he's hurt, but it's for both his good and my own. I don't want to embarrass him or myself, not on his birthday, and I'd be doing just that if I decided to go. I notice that it's not just Callum who seems disappointed. I can't pretend that I don't see Queen Lilliana's confused frown. I know that I've hurt both her and Callum, but believe when I say that I'm only doing them a favour.

***

"So... Earth is similar to fire?" Callum asks the next day in his advanced magic class. I bite my lip, trying to decide how best to explain it.

"Earth is created from fire. When rock is super heated, it turns into magma, or lava. When it harden again, with the help of either air or water, it turns to stone, which is one of the main characteristics of earth. Its steadier than fire, but still carries the strong, opinionated nature of it's fierce brother. Earth is gentle like water, but hard as rock. Technically, it's a masculine element, but in my opinion, it has characteristics of both masculine and feminine," I explain. Callum stares at me.

"You know a lot about earth magic," he says. I shrug and turn to the clay pot on the table. A single seed lies a few centimetres below the earthy soil, waiting to stretch its roots and grow. I place my hands on the soul and speak without knowing what I'm saying.

"You could say that, but apart from being a Moon Fairy, I am an earth spellbinder. I know that it can be cold, like a stone, or warm and gentle, like the forest and its many animals. Really, it's two elements. Earth, and nature. Earth is the hard, strong, stone, and nature is the sweet gentle forest. While both are intertwined, knowing the differences and the similarities is a great help."

"Wow, that's uh... that's some speech," Callum mutters awkwardly. I snap out of my trance and pull my hands away from the soil, revealing a noticeable, green, springy shoot. It's small leaves seem so fragile, as though a single breath will blow them away. Callum studies my work with interest.

"So, this would be nature, correct?"

I nod in response. Yes, nature is new life, as well as old, particularly in the form of gigantic trees that have seen more than even the Head Moon Fairy.

"Ella, come on. Speak to me! Like you used too, you know, when things weren't so... awkward," Callum says. I peer at him from over the rim of the pot. His hazel eyes are filled with sadness, and I wish it wasn't because of me. I guess we can't have everything.

Ever since last night, I haven't really had much to say to Callum. Honestly, I haven't wanted to say much to him. I know that's horrible, but its because I want him. I still can't take my mind off the kiss we shared yesterday, and now, whenever he talks to me, all I can look at are his soft, pink lips, and remember what they felt like against mine. And to make matters worse... he still wants me to attend his birthday ball. The ball, that if I went to, I would only make a fool of myself in front of the boy I... the boy I have feelings for. I can't let that happen, and I don't want him to know how I feel about him either. No, he doesn't need to know what I think, it would only make him feel sorry for me, the broken, hardened, useless girl who nobody wants, not even her parents.

Callum leans forward and tucks a stray, black curl behind my ear. I feel my breath hitch in my throat, but I try to breathe evenly; I can't have him knowing how his actions make me feel.

"Ella... that kiss... I know I'd be hassling you but I-I... I want another." His voice is nervous, and suddenly it's very close to my ear. I jump out of my seat, wondering how he got there so quickly, only to be pinned to the desk in front of me. I hiss as I feel a dull and throbbing ache in one of my shoulder blades from the impact. Callum gasps when he realises how rough he's being with me.

"E- Ella, I-I'm so s-sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I just, oh god, I can't help myself," he mutters, his hand covering his mouth as he try's to contain his apparently urgent need. That's all I am. A means of fulfilling his need to feel loved. Nothing more.

He pulls on the collar of my shirt, slipping it off my sore shoulder and revealing my bare skin. I gasp as Callum gently caresses it, his thumb making little circles on my skin. The action is soothing and seems to take away the pain. I feel compelled to lie back and let him touch more of me, but I quickly restrain myself. There is no way in heaven, earth, Celestia and hell that he's going to get away with touching me.

"I like your shoulders," he murmurs. I close my eyes, and, in spite of myself, enjoy the feeling of his warmth and his hands on my body. He leans in closer, as though he's trying cover more of me with himself.

"Do you know what else I like? I like
Your-"

"Callum! Stop! This is wrong!" I shout, pushing him off of me. I stand up straight, noticing that he seems to shrink away from me. My body, particularly my skin, screams in protest, wanting to feel him against me again.

"How?"

"How? How? I'm a broken girl! Your interest in me is merely curiosity and a way of discovering what it's like to be with a girl. Well, no more. I'm sorry Callum, but if all I am to you is a way of fulfilling an urgent need, then you can find someone else, someone who doesn't already feel as useless and unwanted as I do," I shout at him in outrage. I see him clench his fists in anger and frustration, and I think he might be on his last nerve, but I don't care anymore.

"What?! That's not what I think! You're more than that, and what's this about being unwanted and useless? You aren't Ella, so don't-"

"Don't what? My parents didn't want me, and nobody else really does either, so don't try and make me feel better about it, because nothing ever will!" With that, I settle back at the table and ignore him when he tries to speak again. For the rest of the lesson we work in silence, his few words often interrupted by a snappy retort from me. Perhaps I'm being harsh on him, but I don't care. He has no right to use me and pretend I mean something to him, when I clearly don't, even if it is out of pity.