Appa (BTS fanfic)

Chapter 52

Yi Xuan slows down as he looks around to see the small boy on the swings. "Min Jun ah," he calls out softly and the boy turns away from the leader.

He sits on the other swing and notices that the necklace was around his neck now. "Gege, I'm very confused," Min Jun whispers before hiccuping lightly. "Is Ji Woo lying to me?"

The older sighs and the small gets off the swing before moving towards him. "Gege, I'm tired of figuring things out," he whispers, leaning on Yi Xuan's knees but the male lifts him onto his lap. "Can I tell you something Gege?"

"Yes?" Yi Xuan replies, running his hand through the small boy's hair to comfort him.

"Min Junnie..." he starts before sighing and muttering a 'fighting', "already knew about it..."

Yi Xuan stares at the small boy as he starts to whimper. "I was doubting since I moved in with Appas... I realized that Ji Woo and I hardly looked alike. I knew I was from Busan and was able to understand the dialect but I didn't show it. But I let it slip... Appas all think that I don't know but I do," he whispers as he buries his head into the older as he tries to control his tears. "I don't want Appas to leave me. I don't want Ji Woo to leave me that's why I kept quiet. So that Appas wouldn't suspect anything but I let it slip. Gege, 我累了." (A/N: I'm tired.)

He finally lets go of his water works as Yi Xuan cradles him tightly, still running his hand through the younger's hair. The leader had no way to comfort the Busan boy so he decided to sing to him because music always comforted him especially lyrics spoke to him.

"Crying in the crowd, you just want to be invisible," Yi Xuan starts, singing softly in Chinese as he tenderly rub away the tears on the small boy's chubby face. "You won't dream, or ache, or be brokenhearted, you've decided, you've already decided."

"You quietly endure, tightly grasping yesterday in your fist. And the sweeter the memories are, the more they hurt, the more they leave numerous and profound cuts in your hand," Yi Xuan continues to sing as he get rids of the eye poo and tear stains gently with his thumbs while Min Jun hiccups, not believing how relatable the lyrics were to him.

"You're not truly happy, your smile is a disguise you wear. You've decided not to hate, and decided not to love, your soul forever locked away," his deep voice surprisingly going well with the song.

"This world laughs, and so you laugh along with everyone. As though survival is a requirement, not your choice, and so in tears you drift and stumble on," he continues but way louder while smoothing out the creases of the shirt. "You're not truly happy, your smile is just a disguise you wear, you've decided not to hate, and decided not to love, your soul forever locked away."

"You're not truly happy, your wounds are unwilling to be completely healed. I stand beside you but it's like we're separated by a galaxy, will you tightly hold your remorse until you've grown old, and then still regret," Yi Xuan stares into the boy's sad pair of eyes before the small boy cuddled closer. 

Yi Xuan stops singing for the moment before cradling the boy once again. "You deserve true happiness," he sings softly once again as he styles Min Jun's hair properly and then squeezes his cheeks slightly which makes the small boy smile slightly. "You should pull off that disguise you wear. Why when we lost already, but still must be punished."

The Shengzhou boy grabs the pair of small hands and tightly clenches it to indicate his tiredness and pretending. "Can you let your agony end at this moment," he slowly sings as he lets go of the small hands which fall open immediately to indicate what he had just sing before he takes a breath, "and start to live again..."

Min Jun stares into the sky, imaging his pain and worries flying away before a small smile graces his lips. Yi Xuan looks up with the small boy too before remembering the amount of times he had yelled to the sky about unfairness and hatred towards something or someone. He then look down to make eye contact with the younger as he smiles slightly. "Are you feeling better Min Junnie? Can I call you Min Junnie?" the leader of UNIQ asks carefully and the boy nods tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he moves closer to Yi Xuan's warmth as he starts nodding off.

Yi Xuan holds him close to his chest and rest a hand on the younger's head so that he wouldn't fall back. He stands up and makes his way back to the studio where he figured that it was time to meet the Bangtan members, Subin and Dae Jun. When he reaches the studio, the members were waiting for him outside, next to the van. Ji Woo was sleeping in Seungyoun's arms, faint tear tracks as evidence of what she had done.

The members silently get on the van and started to move. Min Jun was still lying on Yi Xuan's chest, sleeping soundly. The male then adjusts the position so that his arms wouldn't be sore and that Min Jun wouldn't be awoke easily. Sungjoo looks at him and signals to Yi Xuan if he wanted to switch but the oldest refused mouthing that it may wake the young boy up.

"Is he feeling better?" the ex-Hangzhou swimmer asks, quite attached to the young boy and loved his innocence and cuteness.

"He is," Yi Xuan reassures, smiling. "He's actually very mature but just keeps everything behind a facade."

"But why?" Yibo asks.

"He's like you Yibo. Everyone knows behind your chic look, you're just a teenager who been through training for four years. The disappointment and weariness was all covered up with dance and your eyes. You control your expressions," Yi Xuan says before looking down to the sleeping boy, "because you are afraid that things may change if you decide to speak up. If you spoke up about why we weren't debuting, would we have debuted? You're afraid of losing. Losing us, UNIQ. It's hard but we'll get through this together as UNIQ. But for Min Junnie, its a different case."

"He may lose his family if he were to say anything or let anything slip..." Yi Xuan trails off before sighing. "But looks like... he will lose his family soon..."