The One

A few more tears that i didnt think i had left

I lay awake that night with thousands of thought flowing through my head;

Was this whole scenario a sign?

Do I have feelings for Nathan?

Will we be able to do all of this?

How am I going to bring up a baby?

What will people think about me?

How will the fans react when they find out?

Have I ruined my whole life?

I couldn't stop all these thoughts that were playing on my mind and to top things off, I felt awful for snapping at the girls earlier. I looked at my alarm clock that was sat on my nightstand and saw the time was only 2:03am, oh great. I decided I would send the girls a text, they won't see it until the morning but I need to tell them I'm sorry. I got out of bed, flicked my light on and rummaged around in my suitcase until I found my phone, along with all 26 unread messages, 17 missed calls and 2 voice mails. I sighed as I crawled back into bed and started by looking through all the texts which all read similar things;

Beth please answer the phone, you haven't spoken to us since you stormed out - Tanya

At least let us know if you got there safe. We're worried sick about you -Taylor

Beth please call me back, we need to know you're okay! -Laura

I scrolled past loads more till Nathan's name came up and without thinking I opened up the message,

Beth are you okay? The girls told me what happened and we're all worried sick! Please call us back. Or at least call me and let me know you're okay and I wont tell the girls.

I sighed as I realised how much I had upset everyone so I deleted all of the messages and checked my missed calls seeing I had at least one from each of the boys and girls and then checked my voicemail.

Beth please call us back, we just want to know if you're okay! The girls voices rung through my ear and a tear rolled down my cheek realising that they still cared after I lashed out at them. The next voicemail then started

Hahaha, you pathetic little bitch, running away from your problems are we? Well that isn't going to help anything, everyone is just going to hate you even more and leaving isn't going to protect you or that little parasite inside you. See you soon.

My eyes widened as her evil words rung through my mind and I couldn't help the endless amount of tears that were now falling down my cheeks. How could someone be so evil? I sat in bed and sobbed till there were no more tears left to cry. That's it, I'm not going to keep crying over everything and I'm not going to let her get to me anymore I thought to myself and threw the duvet off of me and sneaking across the hall into the bathroom.

I splashed my face with cold water, washing away the remains of my tears and dabbing my face dry. Once I was done I crept back into my room and tied my hair up into a messy bun, putting on my fluffy socks and grabbed my phone from my bed.

I silently made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and pouring myself a glass of water. I sat down at the table and put my glass down, opening up my phone and preparing an explanation text.

Hey guys, I'm really sorry for not replying to any of your messages or returning your calls but I left my phone off so I had time to clear my head. I'm fine, I'm at my auntie's so don't worry about me. I'll be back soon I promise. Love you all xxx

I sent that to everyone and then composed another text to just the girls

Girls, I'm really sorry for everything that happened yesterday and I'm sorry I snapped at you, everything has just got to me and that's why I've had to get away for a while. I'll be home soon. Love you all lots xxxxxxxxx

Once that one was done I had to text Nath.

Hi Nath, I'm really sorry for getting you worried. I'm fine, I'm at my aunties and I'm going to be staying here for a while. There's some things I need to sort out before I come back but I promise to be back before our next scan. See you soon xx

I sighed as I sent the last text and locked my phone, How did I get myself into this mess? I thought to myself and I crossed my arms on the table and leant my head against them as a few more tears that I didn't know I had left, fell down my cheeks.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, my auntie is shaking my awake, "Hunny are you okay?" She asked, looking concerned, "I'm fine" I lied, "Then why are you asleep down here?" She asked, "I woke up and needed some water and I guess I fell asleep" I said as I yawned, "Why don't you go up to bed and get some proper sleep, you look shattered" She smiled. I nodded and got up and headed upstairs.

I crawled back into bed, slipping my socks off and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.