Prologue

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It's been three months since Harry and I moved into together and along this wild journey, the experience has been bitter-sweet. While I've enjoyed living with Harry; because of his high profile and career I do not get to see him as much as I would like. I am grateful for our home, but when he leaves London for shows, interviews, and such it can be quite fearful and lonesome. 

Over these last three months, my memory still has not improved, which could be what's causing me to be so fearful. Not having my past memories that I lost in the car accident has been hard. To be honest, I don't think my past will ever come back to me, but even with the fear-- I've accepted that it might not come back and I'm completely and utterly okay with that. Such is life (c'est la vie). I have a loving husband, great friends/family, and an amazing home.

Today, I'm going out with my friend Sophia to find out the gender of her baby. Unfortunately, Liam cannot be here because of the show he and the boys have in New York.

"Are you excited?" I ask Sophia giving her a shoulder nudge. She has a small frown on her face, my heart melts at the sadness she's experiencing. Having famous husbands who are in a well-liked band can be hard at times for both the singers and their spouses. Being so far away from each other and missing these important experiences is tough. 

Poor Liam, he can't be at home with his wife. He doesn't get to see these big milestones in his life, like today when he's missing the sonogram that will tell him what the gender of his baby will be. Sophia, on the other hand, gets to be here without her husband experiencing this life-changing moment practically alone. Being famous is a lot harder than it looks and being married to someone famous is even harder. The media never shows the hardships, the way these boys have to miss so many important family events/moments.

"Yeah. I just wish Liam was here," Sophia replies sighing.

"I know, but he said he'd fit in a FaceTime so you guys could find out together,".

"Yeah, I know it's just not fair. Anyways how are you doing? Are you feeling better is the flu gone?" Sophia asks eyeing me warily.

"Yeah it's weird I never get sick," I say shrugging it off.

"I know you have a great immune system which is why I wanted to ask-,"

"Sophia Payne," the nurse in the blue uniform calls interrupting Sophia. Helping Sophia up, we make our way through the narrow hall, to a bright white room. I hate visiting the doctors their patient rooms always look so dull and the smell of their disinfectant can be nauseating.

After about ten minutes or so the doctor finally comes in and greets Sophia.

"So Liam wasn't able to make it" she asks Sophia stopping as her eyes land on me. Her eyes widen as if she knows who I am and she smiles in recognition. "Jessica I haven't seen you in forever! How are you doing?"

Completely unaware of what to say or who she is due to my bad case of amnesia I keep it simple.

"Good and you?"

"I'm good it's so nice to see you again,"

"You too. So today is the day we find out the gender of Sophia's baby!" I reply enthusiastically trying my hardest to change the subject.

"Yes! Sophia this is going to be a little cold," Doctor Gigi says getting the sonogram ready and putting the gel on her big belly. It's amazing to watch the screen and see the little heartbeat.

Sophia shivers from the gel but she smiles and holds the iPad pointing to the screen for Liam to see as well.

"Congratulations, it's a," she replies looking at both of us and the screen that Liam's observing through. I can't help but feel excitement over the wonderful news. "Girl."

"OMG I won the bet," I reply laughing, hugging, and congratulating Soph.

"Thank you, but I have one more request," Sophia comments looking at both me and the doctor. I wonder what she wants.

"I noticed that Jessica has been nauseous lately, vomiting at the smell of any fried food, and she's gained weight no offense Jess. I think she's pregnant is there any way we can help her find out?" She asks the doctor as she turns and looks at me, " I was about to ask you this earlier before we got interrupted. Have you had your period recently?"

"Come to think of it I don't think so," I say nervously. Could I be pregnant? Because of my lack of memory, I haven't technically been in a relationship with Harry that long. It's way too early.

"Okay, it's always a good thing to check. Jessica here's a pregnancy test and there's a bathroom to the left," Dr.Gigi informs me. I didn't even notice that she had left.

Walking slowly to the bathroom I think of how this will affect me. I know Harry and I are married but it's going to be so hard raising a kid when you don't even know yourself let alone your husband. As I get to the bathroom I close the door and lean against it trying not to draw attention I sob silently.

Finally content with everything I opened the box to the pregnancy test and read the instructions. Should be simple all I have to do is pee on a stick. After doing so, I put a five-minute timer on my phone to signal when it will be done and go through my Twitter feed. This is going to be the longest five minutes of my life. Going through tweets all I can think about is the time. Five minutes of time has never gone so slow. This is it the moment of truth my life can either stay the same or change drastically. I mean I love children but I haven't known Harry that long. What if Harry gets mad or angry? What will my parents think? What will his parents think?

Suddenly, an annoyingly loud buzz goes off. Taking a deep breath I hesitate and I pick up the stick my hand is visually shaking.

This is it. The indicator has a plus sign meaning I'm pregnant. Taking in the news, I feel an intense sharp pain strike into my head with a spell of dizziness. That's when all my memories come back.

Starting with;

The X factor; Louis's audition

To finishing school

To meeting Harry

To having our first kiss

To getting married

To finding out I'm pregnant the first time

To wanting to surprise Harry

Coming home early for the surprise

Finding Harry and Eleanor cheating on me

Rushing to my car and crashing.

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