Star Wars Preferences and Imagines

3: Kylo Ren- Remember

//I hope you like it :)//
Requested by @Emidooholder

Kylo couldn't shake her name form his thoughts; it was stuck there, seared into his brain. He could not seem to focus at all the whole day. Generals found themselves having to repeat everything they say because Ren could not be any less distracted. Even Hux considered not letting him be the one to interrogate Y/n about the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker, to appoint Captain Phasma to the job instead. Kylo had not heard her name since he turned his back to the light. The last time her heard her name, it was screamed by Luke, who was trying to save her. It bothered Ren to this day that Luke would ever think that he would harm his flower, even from all he has done. The pull to the light was even stronger now that her presence was in close proximity.
Kylo's heart weighed heavy as he made his way to the interrogation room. there was no doubt that she hated him, he expected that. He only hoped that she was not afraid of him; but he knew that he could not show any weakness. He knew that it was wrong from him to still love her, even through all of these years. Sith were not to show any sentimental feelings toward anyone. he could not stop his heart from stopping when he opened the door and saw her limp body strapped to the interrogation chair. Blood trickled from her nose and a deep cut on her forehead, and Kylo had the instinctive feeling to nurse her back to health. He closed the door and stood for a moment, staring at her. She had grown very much since he had last seen her. She was just a mere teenager when he rejected the light side and left to fulfill Darth Vader's legacy. Her cheeks were still wet with tears, and kylo found that he could no longer hold himself up. He sat down across from her, resting his head on his hand and swallowing the lump in his throat. He decided to let her rest, she would wake on her own time. Just then, she began to stir. kylo emotionally prepared himself for what was to come.
She jerked awake, breathing heavily. She struggled against her bonds, and the stress caused more blood to flow from the still open wounds. She gave up, and slumped back. She was both mentally and physically exhausted. She felt another presence in the room, of course, but elected to ignore it. She was far too tired and far too pained to deal with it. She the felt a familiarity in the force surrounding the figure, but could not put her finger on it. "Who are you?" She spoke, and her voice came out raspy, to to dehydration.
"My name is Kylo ren. I am here to ask you questions, and you will answer accordingly." He spoke, hoping that the voice modifier masked the waver in his voice.
"What makes you think that I will cooperate?" She spoke, swallowing hard. Kylo noticed how thirsty she was, but made no move to quench her thirst. That would mean giving in to her, and he could not do that.
"Because, if you don't, I will just have to take it from you." He chose chose his words carefully, So that he wouldn't make a mistake or give any leeway.
"Not if I fight back." She spoke through gritted teeth and eyes burning with hatred; Kylo's heart weighed just a little bit more.
"You know that I am stronger than you, Y/N." Kylo spoke calmly, retaining his frustration for her sake.
"How do you know my name?" She coughed out. "Why do I feel like I've seen you before? Who are you?" She asked again and he knew that there was no avoiding it.
Kylo Brought his hands to the sides of his helmet, pressing down on the switches that sealed it, and lifted it of. She stared at him, silently. Her face contorted into a mixture of disgust, anger, and sadness. She opened her mouth, as if she were going to say something, and then clamped it shut, turning her nose up.
"Do you know who I am now?" Kylo asked quietly, slamming his helmet down onto a table.
"I used to know who you were, now you are but a stranger to me. Who is this Kylo Ren? For gods sake, your name is Ben." She choked, tears brimming her eyes.
"Ben is gone, Y/N. You know that. He's been gone for a long time." She looked at him the way she always did, and he could feel the pull to the light side yank him foreword.
"He's still there, Ben, I can feel the light in you. It never left. Please, Ben, come home with me. Leia misses you. You know she will forgive you, Ben, you just have to ask." She pleaded, tears falling down her cheeks.
"You know I can't do that, Y/N they will kill me. You know I can't turn again, they won't forgive me. Not after everything. Please don't call me Ben, it's not making this easier for me." Kylo tried to hide his emotion, push it down like he always did. He couldn't. The flood gates broke, and he let her see. "I can't. I can't..."
"Ben, dear god, I loved, you. I still do. They will forgive you, she will forgive you. For gods sake she's your mother, you have
to go to her. I will help you, Ben. I know it's hard, goddammit, I know. You just have to let me out of here."
Kylo's heart seemed to weigh a ton at this point. She love him. "Even after all this time?"
"God, Ben, I've loved you since we were just kids."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kylo couldn't help but think about what would have happened if she had told him. Perhaps he wouldn't have turned away from the light side, had he had something to keep him there.
"Because we were training to be Jedi, and Jedi are not supposed to fall in love. But I couldn't help it. I didn't tell you because I knew that Luke wouldn't allow it, I knew he would be angry. I was also afraid that you would reject me... but now that is the least of my worries. The important thing is that someone loves you. And if no one else will forgive you, know that I have. Please, Ben, come home." She pleaded desperately and tears began to fall harder. They were both crying now, and Kylo was being ripped in half from the pull on either side of him. On one side Kylo could return as Ben and be possibly forgiven and risk getting killed by the first order, and on the other he would rule as an evil dictator and have immense power, yet no one would love him and he would be feared and hated by all.
Ben stood up and made his way over to the side of Y/N, tears still falling down his cheeks. Her eyes followed him as he unlocked the bonds on her wrists and ankles.
She got up and immediately hugged Ben, burying her face in his neck and tangling her fingers in his hair. He held her close, savoring her touch.
"I missed you so much, Ben." She whispered.
"I missed you too, Y/N."

||Playlist||
Come down by Sylvan Esso
Coffee by Sylvan Esso
Wolf by Sylvan Esso
Could I be by Sylvan Esso
Home by Daughter
Terrible love by Birdy
Without a word by Birdy //this one hurt me//
I walk the line by Halsey
Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk
You're so cool by Nicole Dollanganger
Honest by The Neighbourhood
The night by The weeknd
Crossfire by Stephan
Painting Grey's by Babbit //this one also hurt me deep//
The wolf by LEO //;-;//