Star Wars Preferences and Imagines

58: Fight Aftermath

//Im getting writers block >-< also ALMOST AT 100K VIEWS?????? I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!//

Finn:
You thought that he wasn't coming back home, you thought that it was over. You couldn't hold yourself up. You just could not cope with what he had said. It was true- all of it. That is what hurt the most. He was right, and you were wrong.
You sat on your half empty bed with a box of tissues and a trash can, pouring your heart out into an empty space, saying everything that you wished you had said, and were too afraid to say to his face. You need him like some needed a pacemaker. He convinced you to act against the First Order, who were you without him?

Poe: //I bull shitted that end of it bc i just woke up lmao//
It was a mistake. One slip up on the battle field and Poe was acting like you were the enemy. Yes, you would admit, you were a bit clumsy and you were forgiven and accepted for that. But this was too much- too far. You accidentally hit Poe with a blast, a blast that was meant to hit the trooper behind him, but missed. In a panic to go to help him, two troopers stormed you, shooting you a hand full of times before a few resistance fighters fought them off.
Poe had not visited you in the hospital, which was a red flag from the beginning. You had asked a nurse to fetch him, since you injuries were too much for you to leave the hospital bed, but they had said that he refused. This hit you hard, and the shock hit you harder. Anyone would say that you handled it well, but they probably didn't know you. They didn't know that you were in fact, not okay.

Rey: //I wrote this listening to Alternate World by Son Lux. that song takes me places//
It's been almost a year since Rey started to train with Luke, and she still kept you a secret from him. You were on edge at all times; anxiety was killing you. You dreamed of times where you and Rey could be together without any thing stopping you. You wished it was so. But, Luke wouldn't have it. And Rey was going along with it. It hurt you, deeper than anything Rey has ever done (which was minimal).
You would fight constantly, about your relationship and her training. You couldn't help but feel like you were hurt more than she was, and that she didn't care about you, only her training. Your last fight left you both in tears, but she walked out. And didn't come back. You were afraid that maybe she was going to tell Luke, you were afraid of what other people would say. You couldn't take it. You left.

Kylo Ren:
Starkiller base was crumbling to the ground. Kylo had just killed his father. You were left alone to your devises. You were fuming the whole time your squadron flew out to the rendezvous point.
When he came back mutilated and knocked out, you had a break down. He was killing himself, whether he would care to admit it or not. You couldn't handle it, you couldn't handle him. He was killing you too, whether he would care to admit it or not. You were waging a war that he refused to acknowledge, and now you were missing in action. You were done.

Hux: // Break by Son Lux. I cry evry tiem.//
You wanted to go home, you refused to accept the First order as your new home. Hux couldn't see it, he would never be able to understand. You were eating less and less, and he became angry with you. The last fight was not like the others. It was far worse, he had gone too far- saying things like he should never have stood up for you, that you were a waste of time and space.
It seemed like you were frozen in time. His voice playing over and over. He was right, you thought. You were a waste of space. You were numb now, to it all. You were alone among a crowd of people- no, they were hardly human. They are robots, machines. They would never know how it would feel. And there would never be anyone here who would wonder where you were if you simply disappeared.