ARIES:What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
TAURUS:The restaurant on the moon had great food, but no atmosphere.
GEMINI:"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut."
CANCER:Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
LEO:Why do bees hum? They don't know the words.
VIRGO: Two peanuts were walking down the street. One got a salted.
LIBRA:Hi hungry, I'm dad.
SCORPIO:I hate jokes about German sausages. They're the wurst.
SAGITTARIUS: Seafood always makes me feel a little eel.
CAPRICORN: An inmate at the local jail finally got a phone with a front facing camera. He took some cellfies.
AQUARIUS: "I'll call you later." "Don't call me later. Call me Dad."
PISCES: How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
