Drive

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I hid the gun beneath my shirt and limped outside. Sam and Dean clearly put up a fight. One of them was dragging Dean back to Sam.
The focus wasn't on me. I had the advantage. I approached one of the two men and put the gun to the back of his head. "Put your gun down", I ordered.
Both placed their guns calmly on the ground. Sam and Dean collected themselves. The man turned around, took the gun from me,and put it to the back of my head again. The other laughed, picking up his gun. He pulled the trigger while it was pointed to my head.
Sam and Dean flinched again. "Empty", I said slamming the back of my head into his, catching the gun from its fall out of his hand, and loading it. He was on the ground and the other stood pointing the gun equally between Sam, Dean,and I. He knew he couldn't take all three of us alone.
I shot his leg, not giving him a chance to do anything and he was down. I kicked his gun away.
"You came, you killed me. Sam and Dean were filled with rage out of my death that they killed one of your partners. You teo barely got out alive. I'm dead and you saw me die", I said.
He nodded. "If you or anyone ever comes after Sam, Dean, or me, you'll die", I said shooting the ground beside him.
"Are you okay", I asked Sam and Dean who stood with surprised expressions. Then, my legs gave out on me. Sam helped me up. I threw the gun down, realizing I had killed someone. We got in the Impala, each having injuries.
"I killed someone", I whispered looking down at my hands.
"You did what you had to", Dean said.
"I didn't have to. I could have shot him somewhere else", I said ashamed.
"Look at what he did to you", Sam said.
"We're proud of you. You weren't helpless back there. Everything is going to be alright", Dean said.
I kept glancing at my hands. I'm a monster. We were driving. It seemed like hours. It is night now. I was so quiet that Sam and Dean thought I was asleep. The darkness also made it easier for them to think that since they couldn't see me that well.
"She was brave back there", Sam said.
"Yeah", Dean replied.
"Dean. I think... I think"
"What, Sammy?"
"I think she is going to be okay"
"Me too"
"Is that all? Something is different about you, Sam"
"No. It isn't all"
"Come on. You know I'm bad at this touchy feely, hold me in your arms stuff. But I am here to listen if something is bothering my little brother."
"I like her"
Dean took a long time to answer. He came back with small laughter after a couple minutes of silence. "I like her too"
"That's not what I mean, Dean. You know it"
"Listen to me. It can't happen"
"I know it's bad, Dean. I just feel drawn to her"
"Can I trust you to be alone with her?"
Sam's tone changed to defensive. "I won't make her do anything she doesn't want to"
Dean's inflection was shaky and he tried to remain calm, "Jail bait, man"
"Yeah, forget I said anything", Sam said.
They didn't bring it up again. Eventually, Sam fell asleep. Then, I did.
When I woke up, Dean was still driving. His eyes were on the dark road ahead. It was still night.
"Hey", I said.
"Hey"
"I'm sorry you guys are in trouble because of me"
"Kid, in our life there's always trouble"
"Right"
"I just hope you're okay. As long as we live, there's nothing to worry about. Sam and I are good, we hope you are too"
"Yeah", I said not necessarily telling the truth.
"I just care about you two. I couldn't care less if I were okay", I admitted.
"Right", he said smiling at me briefly through the mirror.
"Life is a highway", I said with a monotone.
"And we're going to ride it", he replied playfully.
I'm riding it with the best people.
"Where are we going?"
"We're just going"
I don't even think he knows that every piece of advice he gives me is remembered.
"Hey, Dean"
"Hey, y/n"
"I hate you", I said in a tone that clearly meant I love him.
"I love you too", he said meaning it.
"Get some rest, kid. When we stop, we can clean up"
"Doesn't it get lonely staying up by yourself when you drive?"
"Not really. If people fall asleep, it doesn't stop me from driving. I know that I want to get to a destination and I will get there. It's better to get it over with instead of sleeping"
Life is like a car drive as Dean Winchester. "Goodnight, Dean Winchester. I am glad I met you."
"Goodnight, kid"
I didn't go to sleep. I didn't want Dean to feel lonely. But he thought I went to sleep. He turned on the radio and the volume was really loud. He jumped and began laughing because Sam occasionally played that joke on him. Then, he turned it down really quickly because he was considerate of us sleeping. He sang along to Journey on the radio.
"Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin", he sang to himself.
"Don't know where I'll be tomorrow", I whispered not letting him hear me. Don't know where I'll be tomorrow. Life is like a car ride with the Winchesters.
Dean finally grew unbearably tired and pulled into a hotel. He went inside to check in and I pretended like I was waking up when he got back. "Rise and shine", he said with a smile. It was obvious he was tired.
I helped him carry the bags in and some guns and such.
"I'm going to go wake Sam"
He glanced and gathered some clothes to take a shower. We all need a shower. We all still had dried blood from being beaten.
I walked out to the car and woke Sam in the passenger seat. He must have been really sleepy. I shook him and he didn't budge. I sighed. "Sam", I said forcefully. He jumped out of the car, pinned me to the door, closing it, then looked at me with sleepy eyes.
"Y/n you can't just do that"
"I wasn't going to let you sleep in the car all night", I said embarrassed and maybe scared.
"I'm sorry", he said letting go of me. I punched his shoulder lightly.
He followed me back to the room where Dean was already in the shower.
"Hey Sam", I was nervous but determined. When you have to shoot just do it.
"I like you too", I said blushing.
He stepped closer to me. I'll never get used to how tall he is. "Can I kiss you, y/n?"
"Kiss me", I said surprising myself.
He leaned in and his lips touched mine. It was like touching an electric fence then feeling good about it. It was like being stabbed and enjoying the feeling. His lips against mine. It was bliss. Then, he pulled away. When I opened my eyes, his were still closed. I assumed he was enjoying the moment.
"We can't tell Dean"
"Okay", I agreed. But what's there to tell? It's just a kiss. Nothing more.
The drive and Sam and Dean and knowing that I have a family again was perfect. Sure, inside my mind, I was feeling guilty as hell. But that didn't stop me from loving the hell out of Sam, Dean, and Castiel. If only we knew the road that was ahead. If only we had some kind of warning. We weren't that lucky. The road ahead would be harder than a drive on the road with Sam and Dean because it would be me driving and I don't know how to drive as well as Dean knows how. If only we had a warning of the things to come. Maybe it would have turned out differently.

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