KIDNAPPED BY SAM AND DEAN WINCHESTER

Normalcy

I didn't speak. When we got back to the hotel, the shape shifter that was Sam was still laying on the ground. I didn't like the sight of Sam dead. It made me feel sick. And it made me appreciate his existence more. Things have been so action, action, action. The only real times we have had to settle down and get our heads together were before another bad thing happened. I never really noticed until now how the bad just keeps coming and I made a commitment to this life the day I signed on to be a hunter.
I helped Sam and Dean carry the body out. We wrapped it in a sheet. Let me say, dead bodies are ridiculously heavy.
After the body was taken care of, we settled back in. I didn't get used to it. I just assumed the crazy kept coming. That's how it's been.
We played cards and drank the rest of the night. It was sort of our tradition. Or maybe it was our attempt at being normal. Either way, normal doesn't last long.
Sprawled all over the beds were Sam and Dean while I lay awake thinking about Ash and when the "right time" is coming.
*Flashback*
It was so quiet. Dad was laying back in his chair, enjoying the Tv, halfway awake. I was standing behind Mom. She was hard at work doing dishes, scraping leftover birthday cake into the trash. I didn't feel like doing the dishes. I was quite tired, in fact. I just wanted to be near her.
The house was so warm. It was my tenth birthday. I remember every smell, every feeling vividly. I tapped Mom on the shoulder. She stopped her labor and jumped slightly. Still, she didn't turn around. She was acting strange. I saw her face in the window above the sink. A tear fell down my mom's face.
But when she turned to me, she had been well put together and held back the tears. "What's wrong?", I asked.
"You're just getting so old. That's all", she said smiling and braiding my hair. She finally turned water off.
"Baby, you should get some sleep. You've had a big day", she said.
She was acting strange. She tucked me in. "I love you", she said.
"I love you too, mama"
She looked around my room. "I hope you liked all your gifts"
"I did"
I had never cared about items. I just wanted to feel close to my family. Especially that day because I had a bad feeling. I was right about that feeling.
*Reality*
I fell asleep. I knew I was asleep because she appeared to me. Ash.
"Every day of my life, I've lived without needing you. Just go away", I said angrily. We weren't in the field anymore. I was getting tired of that place. We were instead in my old bedroom.
"That's not true", she said sitting next to me.
"What do you mean?"
"I have tried to tell you many times. You just don't get the point. Maybe once you know the truth, you'll understand"
"What's the truth?"
"In due time", she disappeared.
*Flashback*
I tossed and turned all night. I guess I developed that habit early in life. When Mom kissed me goodnight, her hair brushed across my face. The smell of cherry blossoms infested my nose and I never forget that scent. I felt like something was wrong and when I heard a bang downstairs, I was proved right.
I walked quietly to the kitchen. I remembered the feeling of my feet on the tiles. I remember the warmth of the house. I remember my picture hanging on the fridge. I remember staring out the glass door when I felt something at my feet. I looked down and saw red.
I remember thinking that Mom would be mad about the stain. Then, I saw that it was her on the ground. I didn't understand what was happening. I knew nothing of death and how permanent it is. I just looked for Dad to tell him that Mom was feeling bad.
Then, I saw it. Through the glass door, I saw something in our pool. I thought it was a floaty. Then, I saw the blank expression on Dad's face.
I slipped on blood, right onto Mom's lifeless corpse while trying to run away. I landed on my shoulder and I've aways had a bad shoulder every since.
*Reality*
I woke up after having the dream about what happened that night. I find it strange I have that dream every time it's my birthday. I guess it makes sense.
We changed our location again. We were in a cabin this time.
Not much was said between us. We were all just tired from everything that had happened. We needed a break. Little did Sam and Dean know, I had plans.
When it was dark, too dark, I snuck a gun from them. Sneaking through the cabin was harder than imaginable. Moonlight blinded me through the windows as I snuck to a room in the back. I closed the door slowly, letting out a small sound of relief as it was noiseless.
I sat in the middle of the empty room. The wood felt cold against my clothes. The windows were glowing with moonlight. I stared at the gun inches from me.
It took a lot of courage and thinking for me to pick it up. Once I picked it up, I knew it was about to happen.
I stared at the gun inches from my face now. They'll be better off without you. You can't fight this battle anymore. End it. Once and for all.
I was scared, relieved, and, well, scared. I gently placed a hand on the trigger. And gripped the gun tighter.
"I'm sorry", I whispered.