love never dies (a ryden fan fic)

Overcomer

Ryan's P.O.V

    I lay in bed, a whirlpool of emotions sloshing in my gut and threatening to spill out of my eyes. Beside me, Lizzie grunts and wraps her arms tighter around my waist, mumbling something in her sleep.

    There must be something wrong with you my head taunts me and for once, I must agree. I have the most amazing girl in bed beside me, but I can only think of one person. Brendon. Just thinking his name sends a pain through my gut.

    A tear runs down my cheek as I battle my own mind. I shouldn't feel bad for leaving him, but I do. His beautiful face runs through my mind on a loop, stealing all the breath from my lungs.

    "Ryan?" Lizzie sits up a tad, her hair all disheveled, and squints at me. Her blue eyes look through my soul and without me saying anything, she sits up.

    "What's wrong?" Her arms wrap around her legs and she looks at me in anticipation. The tears I've been trying so hard to keep back come spilling out at her look. My words can barely be understood as English as I tell her I'm fine.

    "If you were fine you wouldn't be up at," She pauses and looks at the clock beside her bed. "3 in the morning. Spill it tiny." Her eyes look to me again, a hard blue.

    "The reason I came here..."I take a long breath before continuing. "His name is Brendon. I," I drop my face and mutter the next part. "I think I love him." The realization hits hard and makes my heart ache.

    Lizzie pulls my right hand into her own and stroke my knuckles, sending unexpected reassurance into me. "You what?"

    "I think I love him." This time louder. The gasp the comes from Lizzie startles me and I bury my head in my legs, trying to get away from her prying eyes.

    "So you're gay?" The word makes my skin crawl. The denial starts on the back of my tongue, but what use is it? I've denied it this far and see what it has gotten me, heartache and pain.

    "I guess so." I expect her to instantly retract from me in disgust, but she does the opposite and pulls my into her arms in a firm hug. She whispers in my ear I'm proud of you. A quick thought runs through my head but I dismiss it almost instantly, but not without gasping first.

    Lizzie gathers her hair into a sloppy bun on the top of her head and turns her whole body towards me. "You have a thought, I can see it in your eyes. What is it?" 

    The thought enters my mind again and seems like a better idea. Maybe its just the sleep deprivation, but I think I'll actually entertain the thought.

    "We need to go to Brendon's house." I pull away from her and grab my shirt off the ground, pulling it quickly over my head. I grab my shoes from the other side of the room and put them on quickly. A gasp sounds from Lizzie and I follow her eyes to my arm.

    I had taken my jumper off after she had already fallen asleep and forgot to cover my arms back up. The horror of my scarred skin is what she is so afraid of, and I don't blame her, it is horrifying. She gets out of bed and walks over to me, her steps slow and deliberate.

    The concern in her eyes is both terrifying and endearing as she gingerly touches my arm. To my surprise, she pulls up her own sleeve and shows me. Red lines run up and down the whole of her arm, some more angry than others.

    "You're not alone." Her smile wraps around me and gives me warmth. She breaks our eye contact and runs to her closet, getting her clothes on.

   I slip my jumper over my head and sit back on the bed, waiting for Lizzie. I look around the room, soaking in everything I had missed last night. Few pictures hang on the wall, but the ones that do show a little blonde girl smiling happily with someone else.