"Guess my lucky raccoon penis isn't so lucky today," the woman says.
What? I turn before opening the door.
"Raccoon penis?" I say.
She flips a necklace out from her shirt. Oh, a raccoon penis. It's a penis bone. Trappers make them into jewelry. Shit's gross, but it looks cool. Like a stretched out S.
Her penis – that's a weird thing to say – is wrapped in gold leaf. People say these gold dicks bring luck.
Know what I say? You'll need a whole lot more than a raccoon penis out here. Not when you're asking people for rides. And you're a woman. In North Dakota. Headed to the oil patch. Where there are entire counties without a female in sight. That's as unlucky as it gets.
She can't possibly be that naïve. But what do I know? I don't even know what day it is, for fuck's sake.
"The way that thing's got gold on it, your luck might change," I say.
"It's solid gold. Not gold leaf," she says. Twirls the jewelry in her fingers. "The maker used a raccoon penis bone for a mold."
"Someone out there wasted gold on a penis mold?" I say.
"Gold is gold. Doesn't matter what it looks like. It's mine. That's what counts. It's very valuable," she says. Tucks the jewelry back into her shirt. "Maybe it's worth a ride to the Bakken?"
Oh, so she's one of these rich out-staters. The kind living broke just for the "worldly experience." Probably from one of the coasts. Old money.
I can't stand that shit. With all the poverty in the world, you choose to live like a bum?
Forget Joe for the moment. It's clear whatever shit that was isn't going to happen now. I feel a need to accept this woman's offer just to prove a point.
You want to give me your solid gold jewelry and ship your out-stater ass to the Bakken? My pleasure. Welcome to reality for the first time in your life, you over privileged snot.
"What's your name?" I say.
"Sam. What's yours?" Sam says.
"Wil. With one L."
"Wil? Oh. You look more like a Rex. Something manlier," she says.
"Yeah, well Sam's a boy's name. Guess I was expecting something else, too," I say.
"Fuck you," Sam says.
"Fuck you, too. You want a ride or not?" I say.
*** PLEASE SUPPORT MY WRITING! ***
This story will only be posted on Wattpad for a limited time. If you'd like the full version, head to your favorite online e-book/book retailer and pick up your own digital/print copy. Search for "Invisible Hand Sobieck." Or leave a review of the book on Amazon once you're finished reading on Wattpad. Thank you. ~Ben
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The Invisible Hand - A crime novel
Mystery / ThrillerA corrupt sheriff hires a ruthless vigilante to hunt down a murderer during the modern day North Dakota oil boom in this crime thriller full of unexpected twists and turns.
