+ Positively Negative - | Freddie & Joey

19. Joey +- Learning to Trust in You [Part Three]

This is dedicated to such a "lvoely" person! Yes! Up there ^^ ish! Now all of you go hug her and read her boyxboy which is 59x better than mine. :D

>>>>

Is there even anything I can say? I've been having a really busy not to mention difficult time recently with school and personal stuff and if you read the broadcasts I sent out you'll know I also had a hard time with my hard drive. No, this is not an excuse as I hadn't updated before then, but this made me lose a little faith in all things technology and I had a fear of writing anything up on my computer. Literally this whole chapter was written in my "I could have been a novel" notebook ages ago but only about an hour ago I decided to suck it up and bloody type.

This chapter isn't necessarily important for now, but it's laying foundations for PN Book Two so bear with me. I hope you all enjoy it and I am honestly sorry for my patheticness in all things uploading. I can't remember the last time I updated faithfully, but I'm going to try and update something else (whether it's PN or another work of mine I don't know) before my sixteenth birthday which is in exactly a week. Am I peeing myself? Yes. Yes I am.

>> Haven't proof-read, this shouldn't be kept from you guys any longer. Also: CHAPTER ONE IS OVER 100 VOTES! Do I love you guy? Yes. Yes I do. :'D

Chapter Nineteen

Learning to Trust in You Part Three

Joey +-

Freddie and I walked into form to the expected stares and murmurs. We sat in our places and I wished desperately that he was beside me. I couldn’t take the pressure. I could feel Ryan’s eyes on me. Shit, everyone was looking, but his was persistent. He wouldn’t look away. It seemed like he was trying to get my attention, but I didn’t want to give it to him. I refused to look. I guess that part of it was not wanting to give him the satisfaction, but I was afraid too. I didn’t want to see that from my best friend- or someone who was my best friend. I didn’t want to feel the hurt or the betrayal- bound to be ten times worse than when I’d caught him with Courtney. I couldn’t deal with it just then, despite the fact that I would have to in my next lesson. Whatever time I had to prepare myself I would take.

In an attempt to keep myself from thinking about it, I watched Mr. Chou from where I was sat. He was gay. Something inside me really wanted to know what his experiences were like. He said words had been thrown at him too, and I wanted to know how he’d dealt with it. He’d probably find out soon enough, but I felt like telling him my situation anyway. He was still wearing ugly shoes, and black suit trousers, a blue shirt and a tie that looked like it had out of season snowmen on it. His glasses weren’t particularly trendy. They seemed kind of wiry and… weak. He looked like he was getting stressed trying to find a sheet that had something or other about some students and a trip because he was adjusting them repeatedly, and again messed up the quiff of his hair, occasionally worrying his lip between his teeth. I’d never noticed him do that before, but I refused to link it to my new found gayness; that was just stupid. 

I thought back to the fact that Sir had told me he didn’t have anyone. That wasn’t to say nobody liked him… Or that he himself didn’t have feelings for anyone.

I played with my bag handles until the bell went, determined to speak to Sir, but when I went up to the front Freddie was stood beside me. As people left the room I heard murmurs of “Threesome” and equally immature comments but I was just glad that Mr. Chou didn’t hear as he was still stressing about the letters that he still hadn’t found.