+ Positively Negative - | Freddie & Joey

22. Freddie + This Is Goodbye [Part Two]

... Okay so theres a last update coming through. I just couldn't keep you guys waiting. It's all the guitlty bones in my body shaking with.. Well, guilt. Do enjoy, sirs (and madams).

Chapter Twenty-Two

This is Goodbye Part Two

Freddie + 

When I wake up, it's to a Papa Roach song; Scars. I had a phone call. I felt like I'd hardly slept at all, which wasn't completely unbelievable as Joey, Tom and I had laid awake for quite a while, staring into the darkness and wondering what it'd be like when I left.

“Mmng,” was my greeting to the person on the other line. I received a light laugh in response.

“Did I wake you up?”

"Finn? Is-" I sat up quickly, wiping my bleary eyes with a hand and wishing the fog in my mind could be gotten rid of as easily. "Is this you?" I yawned and stretched a little as I heard him laugh on the other line again.

"Yeah, it's Finn. Did I wake you up?"

"Oh it doesn't matter, don't worry about it. Um..." I blinked up at a clock on my wall but my vision was unreliable. "What time is it?"

"Around twelve? Sorry, I would have called earlier but I had a late night. Then again, so did you, apparently."

"Something like that." I glanced to the side. Joey was breathing softly still fast asleep. Tom, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. I chuckled; he was probably steadily making his way through my fridge.

"Well, you sound a lot better than the last time I saw you... Do you need a place to stay? Is everything okay?”

I thought back to the text I'd ended up sending Finn. Instead of going into detail about anything I'd just asked if he still had space for one more to live with him, and that the rent would be split. I explained the situation over the phone in a hurry, mentioning how I'd be going away until my father was dead, how Lou couldn't deal with being around my parents and needed somewhere to stay, preferably with someone else as she couldn't afford a place on her own, and that his place was quite good as it was near town- close to a bus terminal, central. What Lou wanted. There was silence for a moment. I was glad for the silence. My voice had been shaking the more I went into my situation.

"Shit."

"Wh-what? Have you already got someone?"

"No, not at all... It's fine, your sister can come look around today if she wants. It's just that, I mean, shouldn't you be living here? You're being thrown out of your own house, you're free to come too...?"

"Oh, right. No, I'm going to go. It's something I feel I have to do, you know?"

"Leaving your own home because your bastard of a dad can't stand having a faggot for a son?" Finn sounded angry, and I was reminded of how he’d acted when he’d found out the truth about what had happened between me and Dmitry.

I paused, fisting my duvet in my hand and blinking back tears as I cleared my throat. "Yeah." Finn didn't reply but I could hear his steady breaths. "It's his last wish, okay? My father's going to die," my voice was low and weak, and was trembling as I spoke. "I'm the only one that can fulfil this, and so I'm going to. I just need to help Lou find a place before I leave."

Why did everyone feel the need to question that? I was unsure about my decision as it was. But, in all honesty, going to this place couldn’t be any worse than staying here and watching my father die. I wasn’t that brave at all, part of the reason I’d agreed to leave was fear. I didn’t want to witness my father go.