Matenapped |✓

|/15\|

GO LUCKY GO

|/Regan\|

A knock rapped on the door, causing me to flinch in surprise. Somebody was just here, and I wasn't expecting another attempt so soon.

"I'm fine!" I called out. There was a sigh.

"Regan, I know what you're doing, and you should know I'm not backing down from this one." Charity. Of course she would know.

"Really Charity, I'm fine."

"Oh shut it, we all know 'I'm fine' is a cry for 'save me', now open up." And let her hit my backbone to straighten my self sane? Suck my teeth and lie to everyone for the rest of my life that I was okay when in reality I didn't want people asking because I was actually being tortured inside my own mind?

I needed help, but I refused to let anyone see my weakness. I didn't want them to be satisfied with my potential mental saneness.

"Fine." I stood and unlocked the door, my fingers shaking lightly in hesitation. When the lock sounded to be open the door flung open, almost hitting me, Charity attacked me in a large hug, specially large for her size.

She let me go and closed the door for privacy, and all I could think is this would get serious.

"Sit down." I sat on the bed and she stood in front of me, her eyes raking over my body for damage I could've done. All I saw it as was progress.

"You're doing it again, Regan." She shook her head. "Why?" I shrugged. "You know lying to me won't do any good." I sighed.

"Grayson's dad-"

"Yeah, he threw stuff at you that wasn't true."

"No, he was right." I croaked. "I'm just a human. I'm not fit for a Luna or him. I'm not enough."

"Stop that talk. You are a goddess no matter what you wear, and you are tough. Remember when we were first brought here? Little over two weeks ago? You wouldn't back down to the boys, no matter what they told you. And now you're getting insulted over things that aren't actually true and you get weak? That isn't the Regan I know." I stayed silent.

"You have godly body that I wish I had, and don't forget face. Because fuck, you are beautiful. I don't know how to make you see that other than tell you over and over again, just the way your old school told you the opposite. I want to undo their words, but I know it scarred you, and I can't bear you getting hurt again. Not under my eyes." I cracked a little smile.

"Charity-"

"No, Regan. Do not protest against the truth."

"I have a right." I joked, and she rolled her eyes.

"We want to protect you from what you're feeling towards yourself." My eyes widened.

"They all know?!" I gasped and she blushed.

"Yeah, sorry, but it's for the best that everyone knows just in case-"

"I do something." I finished, glaring at her.

"Regan-"

"Just tell Grayson to come here." I quickly looked away from her. She told every one of them? How could she? That was my secret, not hers, my health or not.

Charity sighed before I heard her leave the room. I fiddled with my hands as I waited for Grayson. I didn't really want to see him, especially now, but I wanted her out.

"Hey." My head shot over to the doorway where Grayson hesitantly stood. He looked like he was trying to keep an animal calm.

I gave him a small side smile, but looked back at my hands nervously. The bed dipped, and I could see Grayson's leg from the corner of my eyes. He reached out and separated my hands, holding them each gently. I met his eyes.

"Please don't starve yourself anymore." My eyes lowered to our entwined hands and back to his eyes.

"My father is just an ass that's trying to get you to back down. He doesn't like the thought of a human controlling our species." I nodded like I got it and it was okay, but really I was breaking. So fast already.

"I don't want him to make you think what you do. He doesn't actually mean-"

"Everyone else did." He looked at me.

"Wha-"

"Everyone at school knew exactly what they meant when they told me I was ugly. They knew what they were doing to me." I sighed. "And they knew I started to crack and believe what they called me." Grayson reached his hand and placed it on my cheek. "They knew they got me, and they used it to their own fucking advantage." My eyes filled with tears, but I bit my lip trying to hold it in. "And I don't think anything can repair the cracks." I started sobbing, and Grayson quickly pressed me to his chest as he ran a hand through my hair.

"Why do I have to be the target? Why?" I croaked, and he shushed me, rubbing my back gently. In his arms, I felt safe. I felt comfortable in my own skin, and it felt good. So damn good to feel this way for once.

"I want to feel happy with myself, but I just can't."

"It's okay. I'm here, you're safe with me." He coked in my ear, and I believed it. I believed it because I was losing my hope.

•••

This was a crappy chapter for being gone for almost a month.... whoops?