Matenapped |✓

|/27\|

Sorry for a repetition of this song
Oh hey, I also used this gif before too!

|/Regan\|

"She's okay Alpha Hayes, it was just her body reacting to the venom. It thought that there was still in her system so it attempted to empty everything out." I attempted to tune out the doctor's and Grayson's conversation by closing my eyes, but I forgot that I was still in hearing range.

"No, I insist on another scan to see if there's anymore of the venom in her body!" 

"Alpha-"

"No, do the scan or I'll-"

"Gray!" I interrupted immediately getting his attention. "She's the doctor and knows how things like this go. Let's just go home, I'm hungry." Okay, so I wasn't hungry but hey, gotta distract him with my needs so that he'll drop the issue to care for me.

"But-"

"Gray, please." I gave him innocent doe eyes and he sighed, running a hand down his face.

"Fine, but if she vomits again we're coming back for a scan." the doctor didn't say anything to protest and instead continued with what she was originally working on.

"Thank god, I couldn't stand the sound of your arguing anymore." I joked, latching onto his arm. He laughed and didn't retaliate, leading us out of the hospital and into the car. I sighed when he closed my door and headed over to his side, my chest heavy and head aching. I couldn't help but wonder how much Grayson struggled to carry me all the way to another pack territory and how unflattering I looked laying and not conscious of the fact that I was seen without being able to hide my fat. I didn't like that the same ugly thoughts were returning after everything that has been done.

•

Nobody asked about the visit to the hospital at dinner, minding their own business and chatting away about the newest movies and how hot or terrible the actors were in it, a few warning growls here and there from the comments. But I didn't partake in the conversations because quite frankly I was caught up in my thoughts, battling the desire to just give in again. Why did I have to be so low with myself? Why me? Oh yeah, because the bullying and abusive boyfriend broke it into my head that I was fat no matter what and that I would never be pretty without the help of makeup.

I took a shaky breath staring into space, shoving the rest of the hamburger down my throat. I struggled to not gag as I forcefully swallowed, grabbing a quick drink to cover up.

"Reg, you okay?" Charity whispered beside me and I looked over at her, giving a soft smile. 

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired, it's hard to suddenly wake up after being poisoned and jumping around the rest of the day. I think I'm going to just go take a nap." I pushed my empty plate forward and stood, catching Grayson's attention almost immediately. 

"I'm fine, going to take a nap." I informed him but he only nodded at me skeptically, eyeing me a moment longer than necessary. I guess it's just his alpha instincts to observe people to see if they're lying or if they're not okay. Or it could be his protective mate instincts but hey, who could tell? All the same in my case.

I closed the bedroom door behind me and ran a hand through my hair, fighting the thoughts rushing through my head a million miles an hour. I couldn't take the demanding voice in my head, telling me I was an ugly fat pig that could never satisfy Grayson. Why did I believe every word the voice was feeding me? Oh yeah, because the voice is my own.

I don't know how I got to the bathroom because my vision was a blur, overtaken from my thoughts. But despite that, I was already holding my hair back, staring down at the toilet emotionless. My breath was shaky and my hands trembled as I tried to suppress the want, the desire to get rid of everything putting me in this dilemma. 

Just as I got on my knees the door opened, hitting the wall and causing me to jump. I stared up with wide eyes at Grayson who stood in the doorway witnessing what I was about to do. 

"Regan," His voice was soft and smooth, and a tear spilled down my cheek. "come here." He held his arms out and I stood closing the distance, slamming right into him and sobbing.

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed into his shirt. 

"For what?"

"For doing this to myself, to you." I cried harder but he didn't tell me it was indeed my fault like I expected him to, like I expected everyone to do. 

"It isn't your fault, princess," I felt so calm and protected in his arms. He rubbed my back and held me closer than I imagined. "you're just a little broken and need a little mental fixing. It's their fault, not yours."

"Whose?"

"Whoever broke you down to feel this way." I didn't say anything more and he didn't either. Instead he carried me to the bed and tucked me in, laying under the covers with me. I rested my head on his chest, his arm holding my waist in the spot and the other massaging my hair. My tears dried out and we laid in silence. I wanted to get better, to stop this feeling inside me. If not for me, for him, for the pack.

•••
Sorry it's short, but I just wanted to get this up there

Also unedited! Sorry for any mistakes and grammar issues