Chapter 10

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Khaleyah

I lifted my head up , My Hand searching the nightstand for my beeping phone as my eyes, selfishly remained closed . I finally found it and Shut my alarm off.

I opened one of my eyes as I stared at my Bright Screen that was blinding me. I quickly shut my eye tightly before reopening them and pulling the phone away from my face a little.

My eyes finally adjusted to the light as I stared at the time. It was 8:32 in the morning and I just wanted to sleep in all day because I was emotionally and physically drained, so much has happened
In this one Week, feelings were let out that I thought would never be released, things happening
that I wouldn't even imagined .

I laid there as I thought about everything that occurred this week, my mind overwhelmed with thoughts and how fast everything's moving began to give me a small Anxiety attack.

I felt like I've just hit reality and realized how fast things Were moving.... A little Too fast.

I let my negative thoughts take over and I was now filled with Sadness, Hopeless, Anger and Confusion.

But I knew what I had promised Kayla last night, so I pushed my emotions to the side and forced myself up and dragged myself to my
Personal bathroom.

Things were changing
And I didn't deal well with change..  With change comes something new and with something new comes adapting to it and I was afraid of something new every since my dad died and I had to adapt to life without him and I'm still struggling with that.

And I came to realization that things were changing a lot lately.

Every Time something changes, I get into one of these weird, Panicky, Scared, depressed like moods and think about how bad times were when my dad died.. My first big change in life.

And it can be the littlest change in life and I still feel the same way.

I went through one of my weird phases for the first week of college. It was all new to me, I was on my own now, hours away from my family and I couldn't see them when I wanted to, it wasn't like they were a few feet away.


I felt like everything was closing in, things would never be the same, like something bad was going to happen. Everything became new!

I just alway feel like some kind of bad always Come with change.

I Did my usual Morning Routine; Wash My Face, Brush my Teeth, Thanked the Lord for Waking me Up and Took a Hot shower and did my hair.

"I told this boy my true feelings..."

"What if he just stops talking to me?"

"What if things don't go the way we expect?"

"I don't even have time for guy friends..."

"Did I make a mistake by befriending him? "

I shook the Haunting thoughts away as I searched through my Dresser Drawer for Underwear and a Bra.

I finally found a Maroon Matching set from Victoria Secret and Slipped them on. Now time for clothes.

I searched the closet for some clothes, nothing too extra and nothing too Basic. But something cute..

I found a Grey Crop top and some Ripped blue jeans that were folded at the ankles. I through them on and slipped my socks on and decided to go with my all black True Flight Jordan's.

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