.Chapter 37.

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Phil's POV.

I got out of hospital on the day I cam in because I threw up the tablets and didn't cut too deep I was safe to go. But they gave me some anti depressant pills but I knew that they would do nothing.

When Dan drove me home I was deathly silent. And my eyes widened when I saw my parents car was home. "Okay Dan. Thanks for the lift." I say and was about to get out of the car but he stopped me.

"Can't I come in?" He asks and I gesture towards my parents car and he nods. apparently. My dad didn't do enough damage to me so he he just had to pay a fine to be let back into our stupid house.

I got up out of the car seat and I closed the door to his car before going up to the door and opening it with shaky hands. Shouting immediately came from inside the house. "THAT FAGGOTS GOING TO GET WHAT HE DESERVES." My dads face soon enters through the door way and I hadn't closed the door yet. Just in case I had to run.

"Your little faggot of s friend had to fucking make me pay for you! ATTENTION SEEKING BITCH" he says and slaps me across the face and then punches me in the stomach. Then I close the door with my foot.

Not knowing that Dan was still there. Staring at the front door hurt because of my Dads actions towards me. "LITTLE FAGGOT, EMO SCUM, UGLY BASTARD!" He says with every hit, every kick, every punch until I was finally on the floor in sobs of tears.

"GET OFF OUR SON!" My mum screams and punched my dad. My eyes widen as he tumbles to the floor. Knocked out. "Oh my god Phil are you okay." She says and I nod. Shaking slightly. The pain now injecting into my body from where he punched me.

"Phil... I want you to be honest with me." She says and I nod. I sit up and she helps me up before sitting me down on the couch. "Are you depressed?" She says and I shake my head immediately. I could not tell her that.

"Are you sure?" She asks and I gulp and nod. "Because I found these on the floor when I came upstairs to check what you where doing." She says, handing up a lot of pills and the capsule for it.

"And for some reason these say anti depressants." She says and tears started brimming my eyes again, She can't know. Excuses, excuses, what can I use as an excuse!

"Dan is depressed not me!" I say and my eyes widen. How could I shift something so serious onto him. Her eyes widen. "No! The boy who saved us?" She says and I nod. I was too Deep in a hole now.

"Oh my goodness I hope that he is okay." She says but then her expression changed from worry to sadness. "Are you sure." She says and I nod quickly. Too quickly. "Well. Considering I also found this." She says and holds up my razor. Oh no. I've really fucked up. "And if this is dans.. You wouldn't mind me seeing your wrist at all would you?" She asks and that's when I knew that I was defeated.

She had finally cracked me.

"I don't think you would want to see that." I say and she looked fakery confused. "Whys that honey" she goes and I just shrug. "I don't know. I just down think that you should be checking on my wrists." I say and she scowls at me.

"I am your mother Philip, let me see your wrist" she says and that's when I gave up, I slowly pulled my jumper from over my head, if she wants to see my wrist and she will already know that there on my wrist, she deserves to know that I have cuts some place else.

Her eyes started tearing up immediately when she saw the thousands of scars and cuts that litter across my body. A lot on my stomach. Well. What's left of my stomach. The cuts that littered both of my arms as well and the words that where carved into my skin and would never completely leave me.

"Oh my god Phil. Your skin and bone." She starts crying badly. This is the worst I've ever seen her. And she hasn't seen my thighs. I rushed over to her and comforted her. Not caring about my skin being exposed to her. She's more of a friend then a mother.

"I hate your fucking dad for doing this to you." She says as she sees all of my scars on my upper half. And how thin I am.

"Phil. There will be times where you feel so shit that you where just going to try and take your life. Trust me. I've been through the same things as you. Just a lot... Worse. If that's possible." She says and my eyes widen.

"What do you mean?" I ask and she sighs.

"When I was younger my farther and mother where abusive towards me. And then one night my dad flipped and he... Sexually abused me. And kept doing it. Until I would pass out." She says and started crying even more.

"It hurts to know that you have had the same upbringing."

She says and then rolls her sleeves up to show faded scars on her wrists.

"That's why when I saw a razor my body went cold and I knew what you where doing because I've done it too."

I start crying also and we both comforted each other and watched movies until we heard a groan from the hall way. We both looked at each other and in sync we both said.

"Shit"
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Well I hope you liked this chapter. We get to learn a little about Philipas mother. Please comment telling me if you did enjoy and I'll talk to you all later! X

Love you allXxX
Sammie=3

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