Plans with Tyler

20. Sick To My Heart

Bella's POV

It's been a week without Tyler and I miss him like crazy. My ring hasn't left my finger, mostly because I feel guilty when I take it off. I feel like I'm doing better. I'm still really upset and heartbroken, but I'm starting to accept that my little girl is gone. It hurts to think about, I've realized that it was alway going to feel that way.

I'm still worried to even text Tyler.  I don't want him to ask questions about our relationship. I can't answer any of those questions because my answers will hurt him.  I've done a lot of thinking and I refuse to go back to him. Eventually, he'll get over me and meet an amazing woman. One that will give him beautiful children and no heartbreak.

Although, I've been thinking these things, I can't help my desire to talk to him. I want to hear his voice, but I'm scared. I want to feel his hand in mine, but I can't.

I unlocked my phone to find my texts with him opened. The texts were almost two weeks old. He has tried calling and texting, but I never pick up the phone and I delete all new messages from him. I erased what I started to type and replaced it with something different.

To: BabyDaddy👅💕
How are you?

I pulled myself out of bed and walking into Nico's kitchen. I smelled bacon. The stove was sizzling as he stood there flipping some pancakes. His girlfriend, Liz, must have stayed over last night because she was sitting at the island in his clothes. He handed her a plate and kissed her cheek. Nico turned to the blender and started to make her a smoothie.

I sat on the stool next to her and covered my face with my hands. I still wasn't used to waking up without Tyler on the other side of the bed. It was especially hard watching my brother and his girlfriend. I'm happy for him, but seeking them together only reminded me of Tyler.

Nico came over to me with a giant glass full of a peanut butter banana smoothie. He kissed my head and rubbed my back.

"What's wrong", Nico asked with a sad look in his eyes.

"I miss h-", my voice cracked and I broke into tears.

Nico wrapped me in hug and rocked back and forth.

"I can't live like this Neeks. I can't pretend to be okay. I went out with old friends last night and was miserable. It's been a full week without speaking to him. I cracked this morning and texted him", I felt my body begin to shake.

My phone buzzed next to me. I pulled myself from Nico's hold and read the text I had just received.

From: BabyDaddy👅💕
Um not too good tbh...hbu

I sighed as I read his message. I knew texting him was a bad idea. It would only make him feel worse, but I was selfish again.

"I think you need to call him", Nico mumbled.

"No! Absolutely not. We are both living just fine without each other", I rolled my teary eyes.

"I babied you for week Bella. Now it's time for me to tell you how I really feel", there was a short paused. "Neither of you are living at all. I've talked to Brielle and she said he's a disaster. He barely gets out of bed and gets to hockey late. He does horrible and then goes home to lay back down in bed. Bella, he's not taking care of himself. He hasn't been eating right and he's always in his room with the lights off. You aren't any better either. Sitting here sobbing doesn't show me you are okay. The fact that you haven't called him proves that you are avoiding him. Call him, fix the problem because you know you made the wrong decision", Nico said to me. My heart dropped with his nasty tone of voice. Never has Nico ever been against me.