Spideypool One Shots (ON HOLD)

Meeting

Not mine, credit to CrimesOfADeadpool on Deviant Art.

"This chair taken?"
Peter looked up from his laptop screen. A man stood over him, wearing a hoodie that covered his face. Peter glanced around, wondering why the man didn't take a chair from one of the empty tables littered around the café. "No."
"Good." The man sat down.
Peter blinked in panic. "Oh, no, I thought you meant..."
The man laughed and leant forward, so that Peter could get a proper look at the man's face.
"Wade?"
The masked man laughed again. "Yep."
"What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, of course."
"Great." Peter muttered. "I'm trying to work."
"On a laptop, in a café. Very original."
Peter rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the laptop.
"So, ever accidentally masturbated to pictures of-"
"What?!?" Peter interrupted.
Deadpool's mask shifted into an expression of annoyance. "Well, I was trying to quote Family Guy, but you've ruined that now. It's from the episode where they get rid of the government. Which sounds like a great idea to me. I was going to say my line, then you were supposed to go 'Who starts a conversation like that' then tell me what's going on in your life."
Peter didn't reply, instead continuing to type on his computer.
Deadpool sighed and tapped his fingers on the table.
He perked suddenly. "All children grow up, except one, Petey."
Peter ignored him.
"Curiouser and curiouser." Wade tried again.
Nothing.
"I have just returned from a visit to my landlord."
Still nothing.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
"It was a pleasure to burn."
"It was a bright cold day in- Peter, pay attention to me!!"
Peter didn't look at him, holding back a small smile.
Wade kicked him under the table.
"Ow, geez, what?"
"Pay attention to me," Deadpool moaned. "I feed off attention."
"Go blow up a building then."
"Oooh, good idea!" Wade said, and stood up.
"I was kidding!" Peter said quickly, reaching out to grab his arm.
Wade sighed and sat down. "I was afraid of that."
There was a silence and Wade began humming.
"Why the disguise?" Peter asked curiously.
Wade perked up. "Because we're meeting in public!"
"We're not meeting, you followed me here."
He shrugged. "Christmas won't be Christmas without presents."
"What?"
"Little Women."
"Are you okay?"
"Huh?"
"You're quoting a lot more than usual."
"Oh, yeah, remember when you were in the bookstore?"
Peter thought back. "You mean...three days ago?"
"Yeah, that's right. Well, I followed you in there, and to divert suspicion, I rifled through some books, but I never got past the first line. Except for Alice in Wonderland, but that's a different-"
"You followed me for three days!?"
Deadpool shrugged casually. "Give or take."
"Give or take?"
Wade leant back just as nonchalantly, putting his hands behind his head. There was a pause and then Wade's foot slipped out of its boots and made its way between Peter's thighs. Peter flushed.
"Wade," Peter hissed. "We're in public."
Wade rolled his mask back to reveal his mouth and grinned, reaching over to steal Peter's drink to take a sip. "Something wrong Spidey?"
Peter bit his lip and returned his attention to his screen, ignoring his burning face.
Wade shifted and began trailing his foot around Peter's legs, which Peter tried desperately to ignore. Wade gave a single chuckle. "Looking a little red there, Peter."
"I'm trying to work," he muttered in reply.
"So am I." Deadpool told him.
Peter's lip was beginning to turn white from the biting. Wade leant towards him and licked his lips. "How are you planning to do any work with this?" He ran his big toe over the hardening organ in Peter's pants. He chuckled again.
Peter gave him a dirty look. "I have standards."
"I don't remember you having any objections earlier."
Peter looked back as his laptop and typed some more, then deleted it. He sighed and reached for his coffee, forgetting that Wade had already kidnapped it. His sigh deepened as he grabbed at empty air. Deadpool grinned at him. "I'll give it back for a kiss."
Peter looked away, considering it. It was then a waiter came along, having noticed the new arrival.
"Would you like to order anything else?"
"Yes, another coffee please. Black."
The waiter nodded and walked off.
Peter gave Wade a triumphant grin, as the other man's shoulders slumped.
"Foiled again," Wade muttered.
"You know, I'll be done with this in a few hours. We can..." he coughed. "Later."
Wade gave him an innocent look. "But you're in need now."
Peter pulled a face. "I'll work past it."
"I'll work on it." Deadpool replied, in his seductive tone.
Peter resumed biting his lip. Deadpool slid forward in his seat, his foot sliding down to intertwine with Peter's legs. "You know, it's very hot when you do that Peter."
Peter's ears turned red. "What is?" he asked, faking offhandness.
"You biting your lips."
Peter stopped it suddenly, pursuing his lips. "Right." He said.
"One black coffee," interrupted the waiter as he returned and handed over the drink.
"Thanks," Peter replied.
Wade glared at the waiter's retreating form. "Is it him?"
"What?"
"That waiter. Is something going on between the two of you, Petey?"
"What?!?"
"I saw the way you looked at him!"
"He was handing me my drink!"
"Is that a code?"
"What?"
"Are you two communicating in code? Are you going to meet up in the bathroom and have a hot make out session? Is that why you're not having sex with me?"
Peter stared at him in silence.
"...what?" he asked in shock.
Wade stood up angrily. "It's fine. I get it." He took two steps to the side.
"Wade!" Peter said in a panic, standing up and grabbing his arm. "What are you talking about?"
Deadpool laughed suddenly and sat down. "Just kidding."
Peter panted slightly. "What?"
"You say that a lot, you know. You might want to sit down, people are looking."
Peter retook his seat.
Deadpool laughed. "You're so cute when you're confused. You know, if you do want to invite that waiter to have sex with us, I won't mind. I bet the three of us could still fit into a stall."
Peter glared at him. "Go away." The only good thing about this was that his body had calmed down.
Deadpool gave him a sad puppy-eyed look. "But I want to spend time with my boyfriend."
"Your boyfriend wants to not lose his job."
"But baby I can look after you!" Deadpool said in a stupid accent. "You and me kid, we're going to go far. All the way to the top."
Peter rolled his eyes and typed some more. "Done." He said.
"The two of us, climbing the ladder to success- Huh, done what?"
"My essay."
"Huh?"
Peter shut his laptop. "Come on, let's go."
"Go?"
Peter leant forward with a grin. "I thought you wanted to have sex."
Deadpool's eyes lit up. "Ooh, sounds like fun. Should we ask the waiter-"
"No," Peter said firmly, standing up and leaving money for their food. "Come on."
Deadpool jumped to his feet. "After you."