Vampire who cried Human

Am I her wife or she is my husband?

I faded in and out of conscious, head throbbing as if someone had struck hammer on hot anvil. I opened my eyes readjusting them to the darkness. The only source of light was moonlight from the broken glass dome. It was a hall, with broken chandelier whose crystals and shards lay forgotten on black stoned floor. It had hundreds of doors and staircase to the second and third floor. Black spiders were swinging down from their cobwebs. I heard screeching sound and, with heart in my mouth, turned to my right. Pair of glowing red eyes followed by the numerous others stared right back at me from the blackness.
 Swarm of bats encircled me making me shout and flapped up to the ceiling breaking out of the broken dome.

Is it Gotham City?

My Chibi heart literally jumped out of my mouth and ran towards the locked door. I let out a girlish scream and chased after it like I was trying to catch a chick.

Chicken not girls dude!

I put my heart back in my mouth after scolding it and it pounded against my ribcage, banging fists on its prison bars. I walked up to the Dusty window panes that gave me a peak of outside of graveyard.
I laughed at my hallucination of seeing the graveyard.
Wait!
It's fucking graveyard out there.
Ok I died and now I'm a wandering bride waiting for groom?
What the fuck is going on!

 My entire body froze when I heard footsteps descending the squeaky metallic steps. A shadow casted on the wall facing me grew larger and something came to stop right behind me. Sweat was leaking out of every pore in my body in fits of terror. Someone was breathing on the nape of my neck and I knew I was about to be eaten by a fucking furious ferocious malicious man eating creature. The very idea sent me into frenzy of hysterics scream that short lived when I was being grabbed by shoulders.

"MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

"Stop screaming like a girl!" Someone whacked me in the head to make me shut up.
"Hey be nice to me" I rubbed the bump in the back of my head and looked up to see a beautiful lady standing in front of me in traditional suit with tailcoat.

Could she be a Dracula and would drink my blood?

"N-NNNN--No D-Don't you dare..." I stuttered perspiring and stumbled back from the girl in horror.

"Calm your balls down!" She whined slapping my shoulder.

"My balls and balloons are calm..."
"Wha..."
"I'm not aroused yet..."
"Great not before wedding night!" She spoke
"What?"
"Yep" she grinned filing her nails and checked them out feeling proud of her work.
"Whose dirty night?" I asked in curiosity.

Curiosity killed the cat
And Jared is not a bat

"Our!" She told me devilishly.

"Wakmkmkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaa!!!!"

"Why are you freaking out like a girl?"

"You telling me, You and I to marry?"

"Yep so?"

"So???? You psycho!!!!"

"You're crazy worrying about marriage rather than who I am?"

She has a point though.

"K who the hell are you!"

"I'm your to be husband"

My eyebrow's twitched in anger and I pounced upon her ripping her hair off with  my fists.

"HOW CAN YOU BE MY HUSBAND!"

"SO You Have ISSUE with HUSBAND not ME?" she kicked me off huffing with nostrils flaring at me.