3. Can You Hear Me Calling? (Tom Kaulitz/Tokio Hotel Fanfiction)

Chapter Forty-eight. Living in Deep Regret.

I am trying not to have any sort of mental breakdown since this morning because traumen_darauf told me that Tom shaved and I am like "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Like seriously, I started off kind of hating the fur on his face, but now I'm just like... man, it made him look gooooooood! And now I don't know how to feel... I mean he and Bill have gorgeous jawlines and if I were a dude I'd want to look like that (shaved or not, he's a goddamn fine face!) 

Anyway, I will stop it now with my rambling... 

ENJOY!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting with Lena reading one of Günther's favorites books in the living room while Tom and Gün played in the living room. She kept touching the pages and pointing at the brightest drawings, making me giggle. She was the cutest girl I could have ever asked for and although she was still so small I kept holding her close to me and kissing the top of her head as I had done when she was a baby.

We finished reading after a few minutes, and by then she was pretty much a rag doll: ready for bed. I picked her up easily and took her upstairs to tuck her in and leave her in bed.

When I came back downstairs Günther was sitting with Tom in front of the tv watching a sports news show. Tom was absolutely not into it, so when I raised my brow at them he just shrugged.

I smiled and turned around to keep going on my way to the kitchen. Oddly enough I was crazy for a big glass of milk and cookies, which was exactly what I sat down to eat.

While I ate my "snack" I pulled out my phone and checked some emails, Dasha and I kept in touch, but with kids of our own it was harder to see each other very often. She had been writing another book, but I was too busy with the shop to help, so instead, she sent me some of her ideas and I gave her a hand with the plot – children's books needed great plots too!

She wanted to write about Günther's – the character – birthday.

"Don't be grumpy!" I smiled at him, "everyone wants to celebrate their birthday!"

Tom shook his head and showed me his hand up.

"No, no; I said I don't want to celebrate my birthday-with you."

I closed my eyes when I felt that odd sting on my temple. Taking a deep breathe I put my hand on the very small baby bump and after a second or two I opened my eyes and kept reading Dasha's short email.

"Let's face it, you should have married the bastard. Would have been easier for me, at least."

I blinked hard. Obviously this was that missing memory I told Tom I was over with. I recalled a fight, and suddenly I recalled the yelling and staring at Tom, looking him right in the eyes and not recognizing the person in front of me.

"I wish I had never met you."

Immediately my hand shot away from the baby bump and I felt dizzy. I had some milk left but I wouldn't be able to drink anymore. I put the cookies away and quickly washed the glass before going upstairs.

We both looked up from the staircase and saw Günther holding his teddy bear with his newly cut hair already turned into a mess from the couple of hours he had already spent sleeping.

"Go back to bed, love." I said and hid my face from his eyes.

"Yes, man... go back to bed." Tom said.