Never As It Seems || Sherlock

Chapter 5

A/N
Hi guyzz :P I'm watching Sherlock YAY:DDDDDDDDDDD I'm so lazy lol here ya go :))

<3Sammi
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John's POV

I wake up at the kitchen table. Why do I keep waking up in weird places? Hm.

I'm utterly bored. I don't feel like sitting around here, so I stand up. As I walk towards the door, I look down. There's something laying in a heap on the floor. I walk over to it.

Sherlock's blue scarf. I pick it up. How'd it get here? Sherlock was wearing it when he jumped off the building, wasn't he? I walk over to the couch and set it there.

I walk downstairs quietly, just like yesterday. It's 4:00 am, and still dark. I step outside and immediately my hands begin to freeze. It feels like they're going to fall off. I try to ignore it.

I walk along and once again reach Sherlock's cemetery. My mind seems to be wired to go there or something. I walk in silently and make my way to his grave. I reach the area where his grave stands. He's cut off from the other gravestones.

"Hello Sherlock," I say, remembering Lili yesterday. "How are you? It's been awfully cold lately," I say. There's a little part of me that feels like he is going to answer. Childish of me.

"I'm sure you're really cold. Speaking of cold, I found your scarf on the floor earlier. What's that all about? I thought you were wearing it when...you know," I comment.

I need to hear his voice so badly that I can hardly function. For some reason, at this moment, I need him more than anyone or anything in this entire universe.

"Please Sherlock, talk to me. I miss your voice," I plead. Silence. I know deep inside that he isn't going to answer, but I just can't help asking.

I look around, feeling the true emptiness of this place. Or maybe it's just me. Me and my empty heart.

"I miss you, Sherlock. I don't care if you don't know that the Earth goes around the sun, or if you don't know what a date is. As long as you know that I miss you so much," I whisper.

Everything about him that I loved crosses my mind at this moment. The way his curls bounced as he walked, the way his eyebrows narrowed over his blue-green eyes. The deepness of his voice. His amazing intelligence. His funny relationship with me, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, and Greg. Even his arrogance. Sure, he was extremely annoying at times, but I've come to miss it.

I sigh. I have lost so many things that were important to me. Why do I so frequently find myself alone, following the empty path that is my life? I don't know.

It's snowed very lightly. It's actually quite pretty, the fresh blanket of wintertime. I feel like I could stand here forever, just waiting for him. I could stand here until I die if it meant I could see him.

I soft snowflake bounces off my cheek. I look around me, wishing for someone to talk to or just be with. I remember my therapist telling me to tell her everything I wanted to say to him. Oh, my was that a long list, and still is. But I couldn't tell her.

Those things I want to keep between Sherlock and me. Even if he is gone. Forever.

Looking at the ground, I notice there's something placed on his grave. The flower Lilienna placed there is gone. That's peculiar. Wait, there's something there instead. It's hard to see in this darkness.

I reach down and pick up the object laying on Sherlock's grave. I bring it up towards my face to look at it, realizing about halfway there what it is. What the...

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A/N
Uh ohhh what'd he fiiiiind? Cliff hangers, lol :0 I know this one was depressing again, but idk I just feel weird right now. Anyways, 'til next chappie! ;D (If you sneezed while reading this, bless you X3)