The Mess I Made

I'd Rather Make Mistakes Than Nothing At All

"And now you wanna talk, so fitting. I remember times, when you were holding by a thread of chance."

-x-

Zach's POV

Cameron's been trying to talk to me about Skye for the past few days but I don't think I can trust him anymore. I confided in him about everything. I told him how I felt about Skye before we ever started dating. I asked him how I should ask her out(which wasn't much help considering the fact that Cameron's never had a girlfriend before). When Skye started drinking I asked him how I should try to help her before it got out of control...but I was too late. One drink turned into three or four and by then there was nothing I could do to stop her. I tried so hard to get her to stop but it's not like I can baby sit her every minute of the day. I actually did that once but that's besides the point.

I just don't think I can handle Skye being in my life right now. I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready.

-x-

Cameron was lecturing me about Skye for the second time that day. Whenever he would pause I would nod like I was taking in what he was saying but honestly I tuned him out a long time again.

"Zach, are you even listening?" I nodded, still not aware of what he was saying. "Nod if you're not listening." I continuined nodding my head. "That's what I thought." Cameron pushed me off the couch.

I landed flat on my ass, "What the fuck was that for?" 

"I know you aren't all that happy with me right now Zach but the least you can do is listen when I'm talking to you. I just want you to see her side of things."

"You're right. Why don't you just let it go Cameron. I'm done with Skye. I don't even want to see her face. All it does it bring back bad memories." I lied. Seeing Skye does not only bring back bad memories it brings back all of the feelings I had for her. All of the feelings I've tried to hide over the past three years. 

I may come acorss as angry and bitter. It may seem like that's the only thing that I feel right now but it's not. Sure, part of me is pissed but the other part of me is somewhat happy to see her. It's nice to know that she's finally doing okay. I just can't forget everything that she's done and just move on with my life. She did more than get in a drunk driving accident with Nkki. It's so much more than that.

"Fine." With that being said, Cameron left the room.

I looked over at Michael, "You know where I'm coming from don't you?"

Michael's barely spoken in the past few days. Ever since we saw Skye he's had a blank stare on his face. I don't think I've even seen him crack a smile or tell us how "hawt" he is. The only thing I've seen him is pull out old photos from highschool but even then his facial expression stays emotionless.

Michael shrugged, not even looking at me and continued watching TV.

I wish Skye never showed up at our show.

-x-

Skye's POV

Cameron didn't call me that night. He didn't call the night after that either. After two days it seemed like everything was back to the way it was when I first left rehab. I was completely and utterly alone. Every minute that passed by felt like hours while every hour felt like days. You can't even imagine how it felt after two days.

Whenever my phone would vibrate I would practically run to it but it only vibrated about three times in the course of two days. Two of the calls were from bill collectors and the other was a wrong number. I have so many friends right? I guess that's my fault though.