The Mess I Made

Stand Your Ground

"Where do I start? How about I tell you that I simply cannot live without you."

-x-

I've made a lot of mistakes which anyone can clearly see. You may have heard about them. You may feel a certain way towards me now. You may despise me. You may think I'm stupid. You may think I've changed.

I like to think that I have. Instead of turning to alcohol for all of my problems I confront them head on which still leaves me in quite a bit of trouble but I never said I was perfect. I'm far from it.

You know that Hannah Montana song that I've quoted a couple of times? Of course you do, everyone in this god damn world probably does. It's so overplayed and ridiculous. Just look at the stupid dance moves in what Disney Channel calls a music video. It doesn't even go with the message of the song. Somewhere behind those lame lyrics is a meaning that everyone should know.

Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes, some are a lot bigger than others. Some take ages to over come but in time you can do it. I'm still trying to fix everything but it's getting better. Time heals all wounds after all.

I don't think everything will ever go back to normal. A lot has changed and so have we. It may not be something that you can see right away but it's there. You just have to find it.

Just by looking at me would you guess that I'm an alcoholic? Probably not. Would you guess that the pretty girl who always has a smile on her face battles with her depression on a daily basis? No, you wouldn't. Would you know that the boy who gets on stage almost every night is a perfectionist and beats himself up whenever he makes a mistake? No. What about the boy who appears confident? Do you think he's struggling with something that you wouldn't know just by looking at him? Highly unlikely. What about the quiet girl who's been nothing but nice to you? Do you know what she goes through? Not a chance.

Then there's the boy who has been there for you through everything. He doesn't judge you for the things that you've done because he's also done some things that he's not quite proud. He wouldn't want anyone judging him for it so why should you judge everyone else? That's right you shouldn't.

We all have storys that have not been told. You may see the scars that are on our bodies but you don't know the scars that we have on the inside. You don't know what happened to get those scars. You don't know whether or not they are still eating away at us. You can't know everybody. It's not possible.

There is one thing that is possible. It's possible to forgive but never forget. It's good to be a little wary sometimes so you can keep others in check. If there's nothing going on, stand your ground.

Nobody knows you better than you.

-x-

Ariana squinted looking around the play place. She was obviously suspecting me to be around somewhere, which I clearly was but she doesn't have to know that. I pulled Zach down a bit so we could stay hidden. We were so cramped in that little area that it was hard to even move.

"It doesn't matter if Skye told me or anyone else did. The only thing that matters is now I'm able to do something about it." Ariana stopped looking around and looked back to Cameron. He took her hand in his, "I like you. I know you like me too. Don't we owe ourselves some happiness? We can't just be footnotes in another person's love story. We're not just additional information added in. We're more than that."

"What do we do now?"

"We do this." Cameron leaned in and kissed Ariana. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands found his way to her waist. It took everything in me not to 'aw' out loud. I'm sure Ariana would have killed me if I did that.