Bucketlist (A Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

twenty four

e m i l y

as my family stood around my lifeless body, I couldn't help but think about other things.

is shawn here?

does he still think I cheated on him?

does he still love me?

eventually the nurses told my family to get out, and brought in more people.

this time there was jaymi, mike, jack g, jack j, mark, and finally, shawn.

"what happened?" gilinsky asked the nurse.

"okay so basically I'm going to tell you guys what I told the family. im assuming all of you know about her heart cancer?" the nurse asked and a few people's eyes went wide.

I'm glad I was in a coma at this part because as I watched all I wanted to do was hide, but thank god, that didn't know I could see them.

"heart cancer?" johnson said worriedly.

"ok, well that's awkward," the nurse said, "did any of you actually know this?"

jaymi, bryce, mike, and shawn all raised their hands.

"okay well good, anyways it seems that there is alcohol in her blood and was stressed out so much that her heart couldn't handle it anymore."

"so a person with heart cancer can't have alcohol?" mark asked.

"no." the nurse said.

"holy shit." he said rubbing his forehead. he walked out and I knew why.

he served me the alcohol.

"this is all my fault." shawn, jaymi, and the jacks all said at the same time.

they all looked at eachother confused.

"why is it your fault?" jack g asked jaymi.

"I brought her to that party last night." jaymi said, "I didn't know." tears fell from her eyes.

"we're the ones who brought her to that party the day shawn left." Johnson said, motioning to gilinsky and himself.

"no, it's my fault." shawn said and a tear slipped from his eye. aw baby.

"I brought her to that party the first time. she was wasted. I didn't know she couldn't drink. and you guys said it yourself. when she went with you guys," he said to the jacks, "it was the day I left her to go on some stupid tour, athen when she went with jaymi, we were fighting. I stressed her out, and caused her to drink. the love of my life is dying right now and it's all my fault. "  he said tears escaping his eyes. I've never seen him cry before.

"alright guys it's nobody's fault. the world works this way sometimes. " the nurse said.

she looked at my Heart monitor.

"her heart rate is a bit crazy right now, I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave. " she said.

shawn put a seat right next to my bed. he reached for my hand and pulled it onto his lap.

"I love you." he whispered and kissed my hand.

I love you too shawn.

the people started to leave and shawn let go of my hand.

"wait, boyfriend come back here." the nurse said.

Shawn turned around, "me, boyfriend?"

"yes you, come back here." the nurse said and Shawn walked back in.

"go sit with her again." she said and shawn smiled through his tears.

he walked over to me and held my hand again. "hey, baby." he whispered.

I'm so lucky to have this boy.

I watched the nurse look at my heart monitor and right something down on her clipboard.

"I think she knows you're here." the nurse said in amazement.

shawn looked at her, dumbfounded. "isn't she in a coma?"

"she is, this never really happens, but when you're here, her heart beat is steady. I honestly don't know what she is aware of right now but I think she can sense you." the nurse said.

"I'm gonna go talk to the doctor, I'll let you be with her for a while." she said leaving.

shawn turned back to me.

"emily, I'm really sorry about last night. mark told me what happened. I'm sorry I didn't let you talk. just so you know, those weren't my tweets. I'll explain later because I don't even know if you can hear me. but babe, this has made me realize something. when I found out you were here, all i needed to do was get to you. i cannot be without you. you keep me balanced, and you make me so so so happy. Emily, please don't go anywhere. please stay with me. i know damn well that I don't deserve you one bit but for some reason you stayed with me. you give me a purpose in my life. I love you. what I'm trying to say is, I'd be no where with out you, and if you leave now, I don't what I'd do. I mean it hasn't been two years yet. I'm not ready. it's not your time. I love you so so so so much."

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so so so badly.

it's like he read my mind or something, because he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

from above, I watched my body move, and suddenly it's like I was sucked back in.

"I love you." I managed to get out and his eyes went wide.

"babe?" he said standing up.

"I love you to death." I said emphasizing the word death.

"you're even funny when you're dying." he said and I could hear from his voice that he was crying.

i fluttered my eyes opened but I couldn't keep them open.

when I opened them again, I saw the nurses rushing in.

"is she awake?" the nurse said.

the doctors picked me up and placed me on another bed.

"yes, but, what're you-" he stopped when they started wheeling me away.

"where are you going?" he yelled running after me.

the doctors held him back.

"no," i said quieter than i had wished.

"shawn." I got out before I was brought into some very light room.

///

I just watched a movie called brooklyn and it was so cute and stuff bc the cute italian boy in it was named tony and all I want in my life is a tony.