June 3, 2016
Alex's P.O.V
"Gerard..." I stutter. "I-I don't know... I'm so sorry. I only wanted to make a few, just to see the blood. I just wanted to feel that pain. It soothes me..."
"It's alri-"
"No! Gerard, it isn't alright! I could have died! I took it too far. Last week, I would've been happy to die, but ever since I heard you quiet little cute ass voice saying you like Smashing Pumpkins, I knew I had something to live for." I say. He blushes.
"I-I don't know what to say...that was so sweet." He says.
"Then don't say anything, just come here." I whisper. He pulls me against him and I squeeze him back hard. He let's out a small cry of pain and I back up. I look up at him, he looks guilty.
"Wh-what's wrong?" I ask.
Gerard's P.O.V
Shit! I should've held that in! Now she's gonna find out. She's gonna be pissed. Fucking bitch ass shit fucking fuck!
What am I gonna say. "Um, you uh- see I...um...ah-" I say, sounding like a complete jackass. She makes a disappointment face. Shit. I can tell she knows. She slowly picks up my shirt, revealing what I'd done. She gasps and drops my shirt.
She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. She turns around an starts walking in the direction of her dorm. I follow close behind her.
"Fuck! Alex, I'm sorry. Please, don't blame yourself! It's my fault! I just needed that feeling!" I say, but she doesn't turn around.
"Alex, please!" I say. She stops. When she turns around to face me she crying, her face is soaking wet from tears.
"Look, I love you, Gerard. I haven't known you long, but I do. I know you think I'm a great person, but the truth is, I'm not. I know I hurt you earlier. Telling you I was ready, then just running off. You didn't go hurt yourself after that right?" She yells. I shake my head.
"N-no! I didn't, but it's because you didn't hurt me." I say.
"But you did hurt yourself after you saw that I did, right?" She asks.
"Right, and?"
"I triggered you! If you wouldn't have found me like that, you would be fine!" She yells.
"Alex, please stop. You didn't trigger me. I did that to myself because, I don't know, because I'm just another selfish little bitch that take care of the my pain by hurting myself more!" I say.
"So am I! And you know what's worse? I love it. Oh, how I fucking love it!" She says.
God, I thought I was the only sicko that loved the feeling of that blade, slicing my skin open, over and over. That warm blood, slowly dripping all over your arms. "We're no good for each other! But I don't give a shit! I love you! No matter why you do to yourself or anyone else, nothing can change the way I feel! So what if we're bad for each other? If I can't see you or talk to you, I would be worse than I am now when I'm with you. And that made no fucking sense, just like us." I say. Alex smiles. It's not a happy smile. It's one of those 'fuck me now because I'm insane' smiles.
Fucking Alex. I smile to myself at the thought of that. Jesus, I'm weird.
Alex's P.O.V
I feel an odd tingling sensation flow through my body. I don't know what's wrong with my! Seeing Gerard, standing there, all sexy and insane and shit. Is it bad that suicidal guys turn me on? Whatever. I don't give shit.
"So are you gonna go back to your room?" Gerard asks seductively. I shake my head no.
"I have somewhere else in mind. Somewhere...hmm...more sound proof. Somewhere that no one can hear screams." I say. He nods quickly, he's sweating and grinning from ear to ear. Oh, he's so cute when he's all nervous.
I don't verbally tease him anymore on the way to the barn because he would probably cum his pants.
~OH MY!~
I don't know what that was!
Anyway...I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!
There will most likely be some smutty items in the next chapter and I'm not good at writing secks so bare with me PLEZ?!
Love you all! Happy birthday!!!
Dis is fo u guise
prettydun I-am-Mills-64 rainbowsandshit @bluethewarrior ILikeBands_11
