The Suffering Of Fools (IJ Fanfic, Sal Vulcano X Brian Quinn)

Part 16

His eyes parted and opened a little at a time to the dull grey morning as he lay alone on his bed. It was one of those terrible days that speckled summer's sunny times with rain and storms and showers of downcast moods.

In his barely waking state, he felt the chill of the air on his bed-warmed body; recoiling beneath the covers. He could hear the drizzle of the rain as it pattered against his window, the clear mottled breeze teasing his curtains in illustrious dance-macabre.

Forgetting himself, he snuggled lower into the bedsheets, and reached out with his hand to hold her sleeping form.

But of course, she was not there.

Reality came swirling in with the dismal scent of the rain outside, and hit him hard in his sleep-dazed state. She was not there, he had lost her to her work. He had hidden his shame from his friends; all but one...

He remembered now their kiss: their tender embrace which he so often shared with her but betrayed to him, and how the Earth stood still against the swirling universal tides when their lips met. The look of all encompassing shame in his eyes as he bid him leave, the nightmares of those words and her broken heart.

Feeling sick to his soul, he wished himself away; wised that he had never shared his love for her - his loss and lust for her - with Brian. Why did he have to feel this immense loss that pulled him towards his friend in this terrible, traitorous way?

Laying there, thinking of what would become of him - of him and his darling Clarabelle, and of his bond with Brian - he became lost in sickening thought.

Sitting up suddenly, shocked slightly by the crisp indifference of the room, he realised what events that day held.

Hurrying to the bathroom for fear from his rising nausea and holding his rounded stomach in concern and knowledge of the sickness he felt, he knew what was happening today.

Maybe he should just not arrive - leave everything be until a time when he knew his right mind. Or maybe just call off the whole thing?

He knew he couldn't: It would catch up to him sooner or later.

With a heavy and sickened spirit, he began to get ready to set off for another day of filming; him, Joe, James, and Brian, all together yet again.