Small bump~ **Sequel to IASH**

Chapter 18

Sandy's POV* 

"Harry?!" I shrieked from our bedroom while obsessively searching through the bag that was placed in front of me. I was kneeling on the floor and was about to look after my old razors, not even sure why I was going so mad about not finding them.

"Yeah?" I turned my head towards the door and found him in the doorway, leaning against the frame. 

"Where are they?" I whined, and started to look after them again. "I'm serious!"

"I threw them away, love." He said trying. His voice was smooth and careful, he didm't want to piss me. 

"And why did you do that?"

"Why are you getting so mad about it?" 

"Because I need them!" I cried out. I covered my face with my hands and felt how my shoulders was shaking. 

"For what?" His voice dropped. "And why?"

"I don't know!" Harry let out a frustrated sigh. I felt how he moved to sit down behind me and soon I found myself locked into his grip. My head was leaned onto his shoulder, and his cheek was resting on top of my head. 

"I was cleaning, and threw them away. They're long gone, hunny." 

"But what if-"

"You won't be needing them again." He mumbled. His hand started to stroke my back to comfort me.

"How can you be so sure?" I mumbled weakly. His grip stiffened around me and he let out a hurried breath. 

"I know you won't be needing them, sweetie. I just know."

"But what if I get a replace?" I asked. My voice was low and shaky, my breath trembling from my sudden emotions; they were almost like distant, I was absentminded. 

"You need to calm down, Sands."

Calm down? 

 I had been like this the past three hours; since I woke up this morning, at five am. Dumb as I am, I didn't wake him up; even if that should have been the first thing on my mind the minute I was seeing light through my eyes. Instead I mopped around, drank tea, listened to my head. I hadn't eaten breakfast until Harry woke up, almost two hours later, and forced some food into my mouth, literally making me chew and swallow it by himself. After not even ten minutes after that I was upstairs, feeling quite sick; almost like I was going to puke any minute, and suddenly got the urge to look after my old razors. The result was that they all were gone, along with the pencil sharpeners that missed a razor. Not even a minute after Harry arrived, and I broke down. 

Which brings us here, where we are now, him hugging me while I slowly feel the anxiety grow inside my head. 

"Harry..." I closed my eyes as the whisper escaped my lips, and felt how my mind was screaming. I was slowly getting it harder to breath. 

"Sandy, calm down." Harry mumbled softly. His hand started to ran through my hair on slow motions in a try to calm me down. "Just, take a deep breath." 

"O-okay." I mumbled. My eyes were still closed as I tried to steady my breath. Light was flickering in the dark behind my closed eyelids. I managed to take a deep breath, and open my eyes slowly. 

"I love you." 

"Say that again."

"I love you, Sands." 

"Please keep on." I mumbled, and felt how my mind started to relax in his grip. He continued to chant on, just by soft mumbles, into my ear. Time by time, making me calmer and calmer by minutes, just minutes. 

After ten minutes containing me sitting in Harry's lap, and he singing for me, I was breathing normally again, feeling how the calmness had overpowered me at last. 

"I can't really understand how you keep up with this shit." My voice was slow and shaky from the lack of breath I had been having.

"It's because I love you."

"Or you're just feeling sorry for me." I muttered.

"Why all these sudden paranoid thoughts?" He questioned. His arms was resting lazily around me, still holding me there.

"I don't know, it's my thoughts."

"Stop with those thoughts then, you don't need them."

"I know I don't." I said with yet another sigh. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and my hands found his. "But I can't control them, they just exist."

He stayed quiet after that, most likely having a deep thought about what I just told him. It was true, I con't control my mind, my paranoid thoughts or anxiety. They just exist in there, ready to make my life a living hell any second. 

"You wanna know something?"

"Yeah?" He said wondering. 

"I love you for trying so hard. I appreciate that, so much more than you understand." 

"I know." He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, smiling against my skin. 

"Thank you for throwing the blades away." I whispered. "I mean, I'm sorry, I overreacted, I know I did. But I was feeling quite, I don't know, alone."

"Next time you wakes up at five, promise me something, okay? Wake me up, so you don't have to feel so alone."

"I will." I nodded, even though I knew he didn't look at me. His face was still buried in my neck, leaving small pecks on the skin once a while. "I promises." 

"I wonder if Sarah is awake, we should probably make her breakfast." I smiled at his words, amazed by how much he cared for my friend. They met only yesterday, but Harry took her in and treats her as a baby sister, just like I. 

"She likes pancakes." I stated quietly, remembering how she used to eat that when she was happy back then. "Can we make that?"

"Cravings?"

"You would understand my pain if you were a girl." I muttered as I shifted in his lap. 

"I still believe a kick in the balls hurt more."

"It maybe does, but you doesn't feel that pain for a week, once a month." 

"True." He mumbled. I could feel him smile again, soon followed by my own smiling face. "But-"

"No buts, the period is worse. End of it."

"C'mon, let get you some food. You're starting to get grumpy, love."

"Just wait, Styles. Just wait."

"Until what?"

"Until I get mad."

"PMS?" He chuckled. I wiggled out from his grip to stand up again and looked down at him, pulling on my best angry face.

"You shouldn't be laughing if you were a girl! Now c'mon, I'm hungry." I reached my hands out for him to grab, which he gladly did, to help him to stand up again.

"I never thought you would say those words."

"Happy?"

"More than you think, baby girl."

 ****

That only took like, a month maybe? I'm sorry for that, school have been hard, and I haven't had time; I was away at a camp last week, for air gun shooting. I beat my personal record, and got 351 points out of 400! I'm happy! :D

I just realized that wattpad shows how many words you've written O-o Is that something new? Or am I just late? Huh, late. No, I'm not late! :P 

Anywaaay, have you heard story of my life? ^^ I kinda love it, it's fantastic and emotional, and it's time to cry a bit! Seyaa all in the corner! :3

Fan? Vote? ^^