I am sitting on my deck and I am writing something in my notebook. "Hey neighbor." I hear Lucy greeting the next door neighbor. At least, that is what I think when I heard the distant chatter. "Hey, Mariana, we should hang out sometime. We used to all the time, before..."
"Before I had cancer..." I told her. Lucy used to be my best friend until I told her that I did have a form of cancer. A minor one in fact. That was when she backed away. "I remember when I told you, you acted as if it was all strange. You were the one who became the stranger in the situation, not me." I told her and she looked down as if she was ashamed of what she had said.
"Sorry." She says and I know she means it. "So how are you and Tyler doing? You have been dating him for a while. Is it getting serious?" To mention it is has been two years but nothing is serious. We are just being ourselves.
"We aren't moving it if that is what you are asking." I laugh and she smiles. "Have you been to Annette's? There is this new cute guy working there. He is from England."
"I will. How about we go together." She says as she gets her purse and goes to the area where we have a joining gate, so she can cross over to my backyard.
"Okay, let me get some money and we will walk. Since it is a nice day out." We live about a fifteen minute walk to the ice cream place, so we walk and talk about what we have been up to. "Lucy, how are you doing? I haven't seen you around a man since Prom."
"Well you know, I am bisexual so that kind of puts things off. I am not read to see what happens. I am just going with the flow." I nod and I realize that I am trying to set her up with Harry and now that I know she is not ready, I sense myself wondering what it would be like. Harry seems so nice and genuine, nobody in Chicago seems half or even 1/8 as the type of guy as he is. "So do you think Tyler and you are ever going to move in? I always saw you as the couple that could do anything. "
"You know, ever since I have had cancer, he treats me different. As I am a China doll, but I don't want that. I want to be with someone who respects me. I have been trying to break up with him. No matter what, he seems like he is hiding something from me. Between the PDA's and stuff that others witness, I see a different person." She nods.
"Maybe you just wanted to go to see Harry, but maybe it was for a different reason." I nodded. "We should do something, the three of us. If he moved from England, we should take him down town." I nod some more. "After his shift of course." I nod and I agree, we should do something. So that I could get closer to him. As a friend, until I figure out what I want to do. It's not going to be fair to act interested in him, but having someone else calling me babe. Do you get me?
"What should I do about Tyler, I want to break up with him. I just can't find the words for it."
"Maybe you could text him saying that you want to meet him at Annette's. Then you just say that you feel like you need to start seeing other people because he treated you different the last year of your relationship."
"That could work." I nod and that is what I am going to use when he asks me why I wanted to meet with him. We dated through out high school, but when it came to the cancer, we took a break so that I could focus on my health and studies, its just that when we got back, I saw a different side to him. A darker side to Harry. As if he is keeping secrets. Hushed telephone calls in middle of the night, never really seeming to commit. Has he started to use drugs or is it something else?
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