Beneath The Mask

chapter 32 RD

C:
::its after work and she goes to his apt::
::practically holding her breath::
::...knocks: :
J:
::takes about 20 seconds but he does open the door::

C:
.....hey
::not sure if she should hug him or not::
J:
Hey
::steps aside, general signal for come in::
C:
::feeling a bit awkward but nevertheless::
...everything alright?
::he'll see her genuine concern::
J:
Yeah fine
::there's also a hole in the wall::
Cameron's eyes wander, and sees the hole in the wall. She then asked in a soft voice, are you sure
Jim:
::follows her eyes::
Yeah
I'm working on fixing that
She says you know I didn't mean to hurt you right.
Jim:
Yeah I know
She looks down and says I'm sorry.
J:
Don't worry about it
Im sorry about... what I did
What you mean?
J:
Going to ur apartment like that
She says don't worry about it. It let me know that you understand.
Jim:
::just kinda nods and is quiet::
She hesitantly reaches out and takes his hand. She then asked do you understand why I say history does not have to repeat itself.
Jim:
...I guess
She says history is there for us to learn from.
Jim:
What am I supposed to do now?
She is a sad smile of understanding. She said start with a deep breath and. Finish your promises. Then only make promises that you know you can keep your
understanding!
Hey, she says it's going to be alright Will work on this together.
Jim:
::sorta smile, not genuine::
C:
::trying to think desperately of a way to make it ok for him::
C:
::kinda looks down and bites her lip::
...come on
::gentle, leading him by the hand::
*where are we going?
C:
::kinda soft smile::
lets see where we end up
J:
::goes with her without saying another word::
Cameron interlaces her fingers with James. As they walk, she says, I missed you a lot yesterday
Jim:
::smiles just a little
Jim:
You didn't miss much
She sort of smiles and says I missed being with you.
Jim:
::smiles some::
::obviously still feels bad::
Cameron face forward. She says, at least you recognize that you want for so long. Do you have any idea how hard that is for people to it?
Do.
Jim:
::just quiet::
::does it matter how long or fast it took him?::
::he didn't know for years::
::he still doesn't really know if it makes sense::
::bu
t in his head the thought of him hurting or killing Cameron just keeps pushing itself into his mind::
After a few moments of silence, she asked him, what are you thinking about
Jim:
Why nothing makes sense
Cameron said because you are learning a whole new way of thinking.
Jim:
I don't want to learn a new way of thinking
I liked my old one
She said but that is what makes you brave. It's always terrifying to learn something new, especially if it has the power to change the way of life.
Your way of life.
Jim:
::doesn't sound like a thrilling prospect::
::nor does he look thrilled::
She asked, do you remember when you decided that I was not so boring ?.
Jim:
Yes
She asked him do you mind telling me that was.
What that was?
Jim:
What it was that made you not so boring?
She said yes.
Jim:
...I'm still trying to figure that out
::said with smirk::
She smiled and said I didn't realize I was that mysterious.
J:
::actually smiles::
do that. Bycroft would have all three of our heads accords
She says, now you have the opportunity to get to know people that they actually surprise you. Baby you could get to know Jonathan better. Wait, no. Don't
Maybe, not baby Mycroft not bycroft.
At court.
J:
::laughs::
C:
::smiles::
::glad she put him in a better mood::
J:
So um... you sent the eraser over to look after me huh?
C:
....I was afraid to send jonathon again
::slightly sheepish look::
J:
::smirks and shakes his head::
C:
I mean, how many times do I get to call on a contact for personal stuff before im forced to refer to him as a friend to mycroft?
J:
::chuckles::
I told Mycroft we were secret half brothers
C:
Dont tell me he bought that
J:
::smiles::
For a little while
C:
::@@ w/ smile::
He truly is an idiot
::but now she's thinking of how James can get put of this hole he dug::
::how mycroft said he'll prove his guilt, that he could::
::.......::
::....she could have maria see him....::
::and prove that his intelligence is a handicap.....::
::.................cant she?::
J:
::seeing her in thought::
....whats on ur mind?
C:
....Mycroft.
J:
What about him? -besides the established fact that he's an idiot
::smirks::
C:
::half laugh::
::then gets kinda quiet::
he said he can prove your guilt.
....thats what started this whole mess.
J:
He's just confident he can't prove anything
::dismissive::
C:
He insisted on telling me your signature.
...that it was a sniper and that a ::rifle type:: was used.
::looks down/forward::
Even tho i told him i dodnt want to know.
J:
...well like u said he's an idiot.
C:
James.
Please.
...I dont want to argue again.
::said in a pleading tone::
::she doesn't like him denying it; even tho the way he's doing it is not lying::
J:
...what do you want?
C:
he's serious about convicting u with his evidence.
Normally, I'd allow him.
But i cant because he doesnt know what I do.
....im just...
...trying to figure out how.
J:
::drawn brows::
::half laugh::
What exactly do u know that could possibly make a difference if mycroft were by some miracle to succeed?
C:
...that, in a way, u acted in ignorance.
J:
::starts to protest but then kinda doesn't know whether or not he should protest::
::says nothing::
C:
I mean, u knew what u were doing but u didnt really...understand it. It'd be hard to convince the courts that intelligence can actually be a handicap.
::she's more thinking out loud than talking to him::
J:
::just kinda gives her a look::
C:
::glances at him::
Im serious.
The more extreme intelligence a person has, the less they are able to comprehend the abstract things of life and humanity.
The only thing is, even if I am a psychotherapist and wrote papers on it, they would never credit me. I'm too involved in your personal life.
J:
::she's actually serious?::
::just looks ahead, saying nothing::
C:
....
....maybe-
::just stops, not sure if she should even suggest it::
J:
What?
::what could she say to top what she's already said?::
C:
::glances down::
....maybe you could see Maria.
She's good and she could understand enough to write something credible in her reports.
J:
...
::gives her an incredulous look::
C:
....I mean, its the only legal thing I can think of that could get u out of Mycroft's charges.
::still unable to look at him::
J:
Are you really serious?
Are you asking me to 'seek help'?
C:
Only to get enough proof in writing to assist in court.
::still staring ahead::
*at the ground, not ahead
J:
I don't believe this
C:
::quiet::
::she had a feeling she shouldnt have said nething::
J:
::walks silently for a while::
Even if your idea worked, hypothetically, and mycroft still proved my guilt what would happen?
C:
....the guilt would be undeniable.
but proving u have a handicap would either soften the blow or equit u of the charges or require u to take some form of rehab so u can understand better.
-not that the rehab would actually be necessary. I pretty much provide that anyways.
#add#
i dont know of anyone who ever *tried* to prove an intelligent person as handicapped in any way before.
J:
::@@::
C:
I mean, we learn about in psych classes but no one has ever applied it to the legal world that I kmow of.
J:
::just really not going for the idea of this::
::not without some sort of persuasion anyways::

C:
I mean, unless u have a better idea
J:
....well no
::very reluctant::
C:
....dont u think its worth a shot?
i mean, if u dont even try ur practically guarunteed to go to prison for a very, very long time.
J:
....
::shrugs::
...true
C:
::looks at him, hopeful::
U'll meet maria and give it a shot?
J:
::internal grumbling::
.....yes
C:
::he can see she sees he isnt wanting it as disappointment sets in her eyes::
J:
...whats the matter?
C:
::looks elsewhere quickly::
...I just...
I mean I dont want u to feel u *have* to
J:
You're not
its fine
I mean they probably wont let me mess with the jury again so...
I dont know
C:
I meant i just thought... maybe u'd want to
J:
...im not sure I get what you mean
C:
Nevermind, it was stupid to even bring it up
::dismissing the whole idea all together::
J:
No, say it
::not liking her dismissing it cuz he wants to know::
C:
::just shakes her head::
::what idiot believes people look forward to therapy of any sort?::
::...she's the only human she knows that ever actually liked it::
J:
::reluctantly drops it::
::while of silence::
...do you think I should?
C:
....
...you get from me all the time without knowing it. The only benefit of seeing Maria is her records will be acceptable to the courts while mine would be shot down as biased.
J:
::quiet::
C:
....
:::just feels less confident and more self conscious: :
::...kinda takes her hand back::
::looking back down at the ground again::
J:
::doesn't want her to feel bad so just pits arm around her::
::closer, whispers::
...its a good idea, Cameron
C:
::and after all this time together these two months he still has the power to put butterflies in her stomach::
::looks at him, searching::
....u rly think so?
J:
Yeah
::genuine::
::even tho he doesn't like the idea it is good and will most likely work::
C:
::he cn c her relief: :
...I 'll see if i cn get Maria to see you, then
J:
...thanks
C:
::even a bit of a smile::
...i'd just about anything for u, James
J:
::smiles some::
C:
I just wonder how much time we have b4 he hauls us all to court
::back 2 mycroft::
J:
::shrugs::
Outta be fun anyway
#lol#
C:
....i just mean, time is a huge factor for how much credible and how convincing Maria can make the papers
J:
I wouldn't worry too much about it
C:
Sry its just...
...I jave a history with courts and therapy.
J:
...ur thinking there'll be a problem?
C:
There could b if we arent given enough time. Mycroft will probably try to down play it all even though he clearly has the same handicap. And if we dont have enuf proof in writing, nothing will change the outcome. And even if we do, its such a novel idea to most people, they would likely want a third party psychologist to decide and if they choose the wrong psychologist...
::shakes her head::
J:
::shrugs::
C:
::clearly this bothers her far more than it does James::
::sighs and just drops it::
J:
...how'd you get experience with court?
C:
Custody battles.
and dealing with my stupid grandfather.
::@@::
i nvr actually went to court but mom did. She's been fighting in court for one of us kids virtually my entire life. She should have been a lawyer. And I've heard her help other people eith *their* custody battles and kids special needs.
J:
::nods::
C:
Hang around it long enuf and u pick it up
C:
....what happened when Andro came to check on u, neways?
J:
Nothing really it was just weird
C:
...I had a feeling it would b
J:
Why'd you send him?
C:
...Because I was worried about u.
I would have come, but i had already promised to spend the day with ray.
J:
You worry too much
C:
I'm your girlfriend.
That's my job
::looks up at him a kinda smiles::
J:
::smiles::