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5/11/15
I ROLL OVER to the sound of my phone buzzing from a text message.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I try to get my contacts to focus. I really shouldn't be sleeping in them, but I do anyways. I hate myself in glasses.
I grab my phone and swipe my finger across the screen to be greeted with a text message from Hayley.
Hope you made it there safely! I won't be really able to talk this week because the new internship is bat shit crazy but hopefully by next week things will settle down for me to talk your ear off for hours! Lots of love
I text my love back with a little encouragement to help her get through the week. It's weird being away from Hayley and not knowing what is happening every second of her life. I feel disconnected from my best friend and I don't like it. I wanted to call her right away when I saw Cale and tell her, but a part of me still can't believe it 's real. I am hoping it was all one big bad dream.
But I wake up to my room in Easton and I know it all is real. My sister is marrying a man who broke my heart into so many pieces one summer without even blinking an eye. I loved him more than anything, and he just wanted to use me for sex and then break it off.
A part of me knows I will always love him, and a part of me knows I will always hate him. I will always have feelings for Cale Hasting because he was my first love. I might not have been his love at all, but he was mine. First loves are wild, young, and reckless, and they run the deepest. First loves are love in its purest forms. And for a lot of people they should never love the way they loved for their first love, it is dangerous and unsteady.
I loathe Cale for what he did to me. But I'm not stupid enough to ignore the fact that he will always own a piece of me. A single piece I am going to try and regain back this summer. It is time from me to move on from the pain he caused me all those years ago. It is time for me to try and become a whole person who can fully love without fears. And maybe be a little less bitter.
I roll out of bed pulling my hair from its messy bun that resides on the top of my head. My long hair comes tumbling down over my shoulders in waves. I'm in a small tank and undies when I cross my room to use the bathroom. The one thing I hate about my room is that my bathroom has two doors. One from my room and one on the other side that guests can use if they are downstairs. My bathroom always has to be kept clean and nice for guests. Unlike Bailey's whose bathroom is always scattered with makeup and hair products.
I don't pay attention to the fact that the light is already on when I swing the door open to reveal Cale in all his sweaty glory standing there in just a pair of running shorts and nothing else.
Nothing happens for a few seconds. A small gasp falls from my lips, but other than that for a few moments we just stare at each other.
I can't look away. His dirty blonde hair is almost lighter than before from the sun. His hair always has that just rolled out of bed look to it, the look that makes any girl want to run their fingers through it and even pull on it a bit. I remember I used to, and he loved it. His body is even more in shape than it was four years ago. His arms bigger, his muscles more defined, but still lean and tall. The wave tattoo on his ribcage is still the only ink his body holds. His body's glistening with a thin layer of sweat, and the few beads that slide down his body makes my skin flush at the sudden flashes of images that run through my head. Very dirty images.
