The Throne (Prince Harry fanfic #6)

Chapter Five

"Your highness," Tony, Lucy's bodyguard, after she stepped into the car. The door closed behind her. It was just them, with Tony being the driver for today, and most days. With cuts to the monarchy, drivers were another thing to go. "May I ask you something?"

"Go for it, Tony," Lucy said quietly, though she wished he didn't.

Tony pulled away from the curb before asking. "You seem sad, ma'am. Did something happen that I should be aware of?"

Her hands ran across her face. "Harry asked about a divorce."

Tony's eyes widened, but he quickly recovered, "He wants a divorce, ma'am?"

"No, Tony." Lucy looked out the window hopelessly. "He asked me if I wanted a divorce."

For a minute, Tony said nothing. He didn't truly believe it, since he had known the Duke and Duchess of Windsor for a long time. There had been ups and downs, like any marriage, but he didn't suspect it to be this bad. "Do you want a divorce, ma'am?"

Tony promised his loyalty to Lucy long ago, more than he promised it to the monarchy. There weren't many people she ever talked to, not since her best friend Sydney died. All her family lived on the other side of the world or were dead. Friends were hard to come by in this kind of life. Most of her friends were fake or less than natural, being other royals or socialites. And all of her friends would've chosen Harry over Lucy any day. Tony was her friend, until the end, and his loyalty was to her. In his eyes, Lucy was an amazing woman, and it wouldn't stop if she had lack of title.

"I don't know." Lucy wiped her face. "I honestly have no fucking idea." Cars, houses and people passed, all a blur. "I hope he doesn't ask again. I hope he doesn't push it. I hope he just lets it go, and we can move on."

"Can you move on, ma'am?"

"I want to say yes. I want to say that we can get past this, like everything else, but it was different back then. There wasn't this amount of pain. I wasn't shattering into a million pieces. My head didn't bang constantly. I wasn't always tired and I wasn't always sick. I was just another woman and he was just another man." Her fingers played with her safety belt. "Back then, none of this mattered. Back then, there weren't five kids constantly running around. Back then, there weren't financial cuts. Back then, I wasn't just a duchess. I had a name. I was known as something more than wearing pretty dresses and nice tiaras. I was known for saying something."

Lucy wished to be that woman again. "Back then, I had hope. Back then, I knew I loved Harry with my whole body. Back then, I knew I couldn't live without him. Back then, I was happy. Back then, I knew my happiness came from Harry."

"Where does your happiness come from now, ma'am?"

"A lot of places, Tony."

"Is one of them Harry?"

"Sometimes."

"That's more than never."

Lucy smirked. "You're not wrong."

Tony didn't push it on the drive back to Kensington Palace, but he did try to cheer her up. "About today, ma'am, no one blames you for the incident."

Her blood already boiled, since she blamed herself. "I have never forgotten a speech in my life, Tony. I have never forgotten every single word to say. I have never stood on a stage and looked like an idiot. I have never gotten stage freight, and I wouldn't even call it that. All of it was just gone." Her fingernails dug into the seat. "I looked like a moron, and they should blame me. I have one fucking job to do. I just needed to say a few nice words and I couldn't even do that. I couldn't think of one damn word."

"Ma'am, people understand that there is stress in your life, especially with the changes in monarchy."

Scoffing, Lucy rolled her eyes. It was almost a constant characteristic of her now. She didn't agree with much nowadays when it came to life, from how the monarchy handled things to how the government handled things. Then she had five children to worry about and their futures. There was Harry, but she had to worry about his future now. The cuts to the monarchy came from the government not having enough money right now. And if the monarchy ended up being dealt away, then only new problems would arise. Looking out the window, no longer was this the London she knew, even if people didn't see the change.

Suddenly, something arose in her throat and she couldn't breathe. The world spun around her. She coughed loudly. Her fingernails gripped the seat. Black dots filled her vision. Vomit arose from her empty stomach, since she hadn't eaten this morning. Lucy swallowed over and over again. Blinking away the dots, she sat back in the seat.

"Ma'am?" called from the front.

"I'm fine. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, since of the whole..." she couldn't finish. Her stomach rumbled and she placed a hand to it.

"When did you last eat?"

Lucy didn't answer. "Seventeen years of this, Tony, and we are failing."

"You've known His Highness for eighteen years, ma'am." He was confused to what she talked about.

"Seventeen years since Brexit, I mean, and then Boris Johnson became Foreign Minister." She absolutely despised that man.

"You don't let things go, ma'am."

"No, sir. You will need ammunition for later. We always do."

Dizziness continued to pulse through her veins, which she ignored, like always. Tiredness of having five children, a failing marriage and a crumbling monarchy was bound to cause stress. Lucy used to be good at handling stress, but now she hated how it felt. She hated the pressure on her shoulders always, like her head was too heavy. Perhaps, Lucy knew it was partially her fault, it was the reason her marriage was failing. She never said anything to Harry anymore, and he didn't talk to her anymore. There was a time when they could've talked about anything. Now, there were days they didn't talk at all.

Tony made the last turn into Kensington Palace. The car came to a stop. "Is there anything I can help with, ma'am?"

"I haven't been shot in a while." Lucy climbed out of the vehicle and turned to her house.