Foretold Memories

Chapter Eleven

After the sparring session Loren and Dauson clean up the mess in the kitchen, which apparently was caused when Dauson and Loren forgot to buy Evie her Tim Tams for the third grocery trip in a row, while I went and washed the dirt and leaves out of my hair and cleaned the cuts and grazes from the grass in the shower. Evie sat on the couch inside drying off until I plopped down beside her exhausted. "You kicked Dauson's ass! You were amazing, you were so fluid and effortless." Evie praised me beaming with pride, "I know Dauson taught you a few moves back before you were taken, but you certainly didn't know that much. Must have had private lessons or something. Anyways, how did you remember? What was it like? Did it hurt like last time?" Yeah, private lessons. I thought doubtfully to myself. "No, it didn't hurt at all. It was weird though, I was so in tune with myself, my body felt less strained, it felt relaxed and at peace." I say amazed with myself. Those private lessons must have been something. "Wow, that is just... So remarkable! I have never heard of anything like that among humans, you were right when you said you aren't normal." Evie exclaimed laughing friendly. "Yeah, thanks." I laugh back, "Wait, so you mean that Dauson taught me how to fight?" I ask suddenly puzzled.

 "Yeah, you and Dauson used to be Sense and Grasshopper out the back and do a few defensive techniques." Thinking back on my new found memories, Dauson isn't the man teaching me and it certainly isn't Loren. Obviously I am remembering a different set of memories. Could it be? Could the man in my memories, the one who I felt at home with, the one who taught me this skill, could it be him? My Parabatai? For some reason I'm compelled to keep this information to myself. "Oh, okay. I don't remember being taught by Dauson." Not wanting to lie to Evie, I tell her the truth, "Just that I could do it, like it was instinctive." That part isn't entirely a lie either, the strange time slow was somehow conjured up through a combination of my apparent skill in hand to hand combat and my finely tuned instincts. "Eh, we can't expect you to remember everything can we?" Evie replies laughing, "Although it was pretty surprising, you just came out the door and all of a sudden you and Dauson are on the ground grappling with each other!" "Hmm, yeah..." I reply agreeing, at this point I wasn't really listening to Evie, I was thinking about the vision I had just after the fight, while I stood under the steady stream of a cold shower. Thinking back now, it helps shed light on a few things, but it's almost like a redacted document, only showing half of the truth.

*Some Time Ago*

I walk into the gym where Blaine and I have always practiced since I was eight. I could smell the comforting and familiar scent of sweat and worn mats in the air. As soon as I see Blaine sitting on the blue practice mat my heart skips a beat, or ten. "Hello my beautiful, come to spar some more?" Asks Blaine cockily, in his smooth British accent. "I wish. I need a good session after my day, did you know that Dauson is trying to teach me to fight, it's so hard not to knock him off of his feet right there and then." I say annoyed. "Ahh, but you my love are full of wonderful things and patience I know is one of them." Blaine replies impishly, "Would you like to come over here and knock me off my own feet?" Blaine stands up as I walk over dropping the gym bag I was carrying. "It's on Angel." I say, taking up my offensive stance.

I jump into the shower greedily and let the cold-water poor over my face and down my steaming body. Thinking about the sparring session I had gladly won. It's good to know I can beat someone was skillful as Blaine. My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock. "Darling, I bought you something today." Sounded Blaine's voice through the bathroom door. I turn off the shower and get into my favourite set of underwear, my silk white bra with pink lace and matching panties. I open the door slightly and poke my head out to find Blaine's gorgeous and handsome face peering back at me. I reach behind me and feel for the towel I let on the hook beside the door and wrap it around my exposed body. Sometimes I wonder how Angels become so beautiful, are they just created that way by god or are the ones who are conceived in heaven by the Angels have genes from their parents? I slowly look at Blaine's manly face and his deep seductive brown eyes, down to his strong nose and chin. His lips I stop at for more than anyone could have gotten away with. His pink, full and luscious lips pulling at me. I open the door and let him into the small space. Soon enough he's pressing me against the wall, door closed, towel dropped and I'm standing in my bra and underwear with not a care in the world. Blaine's eyes flare of desire and lust. He kisses me slowly and sweetly, gently placing kisses on my chin, down to my neck around my collarbone as his hands caress my hips. I moan in pleasure, as he moves down to nuzzle my breasts and lightly kiss the tops of both. I shove one hand into his short, shiny black hair and the other under his shirt to feel his muscular back. He brings his head back up and whispers in my ear. "You are so beautiful, it hurts." My heart leaps and jumps at the statement. I lean up onto the tips of my toes and kiss him, lightly at first but as I become hungrier I begin pulling him closer and pressing my body against his, I graze his lip with my teeth and he groans from deep within his throat somewhere.

"I love you my Angel." I say breathlessly. "And I you, my sweet." I start to tug at his shirt but Blaine beats me to it and rips it off without a thought, exposing his lean and powerful body. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. Blaine slides one of his hands up my body to hold the base of my neck and the other to grab the back of my thigh and lifts me up with ease, I wrap my legs around his waist feeling a pool of heat within my stomach. Blaine uses one hand to caress my cheek and the other to stroke the back of my spine, letting the sensation overwhelm me. He starts to tug at my bra strap letting it fall. 'Take of the rest.' I hear in the back of my head and feel compelled to do so as I move to undo the clasp. "Angel." I say, stopping the kiss realising what was about to happen.

"Yes my darling?" "You promised no compulsion," I say angrily. "Oh. Yes, I did didn't I my love? Blaine replies slyly. I roll my eyes at him knowing he can't help it, it's just who he is. "Just don't do it again okay? I know you are trying to teach me to minimize and eventually stop the effects of compulsion on me but not while we are like this, it's wrong and you know I can't resist your compulsion like I can the others.

"I apologise, I will stop my foolish behavior my love. After all it is only fair, I am at least 800 years older." Says Blaine cheekily.

*Present Day*

I close the book I was reading that Evie leased to me. It was about fallen angels, forbidden love and memories lost to reincarnation, with some cliché name of 'Fallen'. It reminded me about my own cliché predicament with two angels, of the kiss I shared with Loren and the memory of Blaine. I have been avoiding Loren lately, not knowing how to act around him or what to say. I need to see what our life was before all this. I need to see the memories of Loren and I together, just as I have the memory of Blaine and I. Maybe I can figure out why I had two angel lovers.

I walk to Loren's door and tap on his door quietly, he opens it almost instantly as if he knew I was coming. The bond. Loren peers at me with hurt in his eyes. His face slackens as if he just came back from a dark internal battle. He turns away from me and closes the door in my face, leaving me stranded in the hallway. He must feel my anguish about him, about us. He must know I question his word. This bond will be the end of me I swear it. Dauson appears at the top of the stairs and saunters over. "Loren in?" He asks casually. I simply look at him and he can tell the storm brewing. "Oh." Dauson says getting the memo perfectly clear, he scurries back down the stairs calling for Evie's protection. If I wasn't so worried about Loren I may have chuckled at Dauson's ability to turn everything into a joke, using humour as a crutch, it was a nice quality to have.

I turn back to the door. I reach for the knob, open the door and walk on in. Loren sits on the bed looking at something cupped in his hands; I walk over and sit next to him suddenly aware of the sadness that inhabits the room. He looks like he's lost the love of his life. Loren doesn't stir so I peek over his shoulder to see 4 pictures of him and girl. One was of them Kissing, the second was of them making goofy faces, the third was kissing again and the fourth was the most intimate picture. In the picture Loren stares at the girl and she back at him, gazing into each other's eyes adoringly. Loren glowed like a beautiful, hot, blazing sun and the girl looked like an enchanting moon, glowing radiantly. I felt a tugging at my heart, a kinship with these moments. I looked at Loren and he looked at me, and in that instant I saw it. I saw Loren's soul shatter into a million shards of despair and grief. Loren was staring at me like he was at the girl in the picture and I knew why I felt like I knew the girl, because that girl is me. I guess I'm still trying to get used to the way I look. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't notice that he too is trying to mend him of this pain. I want to understand his pain. "Uh," I trailed off and gulped as I tried to coerce the lump out of my throat. "I know." Loren whispers as we mimic the gazes of our old lover's selves. I turn away, feeling Loren's eyes burn through my skin and into my soul.

"Loren, can we talk about..." for some reason I couldn't say it, I didn't know how to say it. It was like if I said it out loud it would make everything that has happened in the past true. How did I manage to love both of these men so powerfully, not to mention at the same time? Isn't that how you become Parabatai, through kinship or love? Loren looks at me for a moment before he speaks, "We probably should." I shift into a more comfortable position and sit cross-legged facing toward him as he does the same he takes my small hands into his larger ones. I feel something in my stomach begin to flutter and feel my cheeks blushing at the intensity of my feelings. "From the start?" Loren queries.

"Yes." I answer, confident in my motives.