Foretold Memories

Chapter Nineteen

I had to sit. My heart swirled with too many emotions. Blaine, my lover, my best friend, my Parabatai. Blaine, is this person. This twisted, portrayal of evil. The kind, cheeky and passionate, love of my life is wanted gone by my caring, patient, somewhat functioning dysfunctional family of angels. I peer up at everyone as they look at me expectantly. I answer with the only question at the forefront of my mind. Just to keep their prying eyes from figuring out what I'm thinking.

"But why are you here? In Saria?" I ask. Evie this time answers for me. "Well when we figured out our plan to take down Blaine, we exhausted all our contacts to find any scrap of information we could. Nothing came out for years until we found that he had a consort; a human named Aissa. Its told that he raised her and taught her everything he knew." I almost gag.

I make an excuse that I need some water. I almost run out of the room. Instead of heading to the kitchen like someone going for water would, I speed up the stairs, almost tripping. Close my door and lean against the cool wood. My body feels like it was on fire. Aissa, Alyssa. I compare the names aloud. How obvious does it need to be? Such a subtle change, yet in a way quite ingenious. If you don't act like the consort to evil, then you wouldn't guess that I was one in the same. I assume that's how I managed to wiggle my way into this merry band of angels.

Oh god. No wonder I hated them. I knew why they were here before I lost my memories. They were here to take my Parabatai from me. Maybe my only family. The thought of it was repulsive. They despise me, they may not know it, but they loathe the very person of who I was, the person they want back in their lives so desperately. Am I even still that same person? Do I want to be that person?

My head throbbed, too much information, too many pieces had clicked. Is this why I sleep? Is it this realisation that pulls me under to forget? To remember my love, my life, my happiness, for it to be destroyed in a matter of mere minutes? To know I will wake up tomorrow, 6 months passing, to have to go through this torment again and again? A rapid anger spreads through my body. Rage pools at the pit of my stomach for the person who did this to me. A rupturing fury explodes towards this cruel world I am barely surviving within. My body quakes and shivers with a livid pit of flames, licking at my sanity and my heart. I am infuriated. I am scorching. I am Aissa.

I find myself sitting in my car in front of the abandoned house, car switched off, an icy numbness creeps into my soul. I think back to running out of the house and Evie yelling after me. I take a deep breath and gather the courage to face the hollow darkness outside. I step out of the car and make my way towards the house. An eerie sense of déjà vu washes over me.

***

Loren

As soon as Alyssa races out the door Evie begins to run after her, calling out. Dauson rushes to Evie to hold her back before she does anything impulsively. I notice something was wrong the moment Alyssa became more and more panicked the further our conversation went. It almost looked as if she was going to be sick towards the end. Her beautiful face almost as pale as Evie, her glittering eyes dimmed with every second, her delicious lips quivered. Something we said had changed her, frightened her, reminded her of something.

I desperately try to find something to cling onto, a reason, an explanation, anything that enlightens why she ran. I have to find her, I can't lose her this soon, I need her.

I deliberate on where she would go and remember how I found her car still warm just the other day. I knew she was lying to me that day; she often forgets that we have a bond.

While Dauson consoles Evie I made my way to Alyssa's room to find her laptop, she must has searched for her location before she left. I open her door and glance around to find it sitting on her bedside table near her window seat. I take a deep breath as I step inside. I could almost feel her in the room, her warm scent wraps around me in a deep embrace. So many emotions have been felt in here, it's hard to breathe with the knowledge we may lose her tonight.

I make my way to the laptop when I feel a crunch under my foot. I spot her favourite photo amongst its crushed frame. I try to pick it out, avoiding the slithers of glass, not that it would hurt me much. As I pull it away from the mess I notice something written on the back in Alyssa's familiar handwriting.

To My Angel,

The sun shines through the window

The sun shines through your hair

It seems like you're beside me

But I know you're not there

You would sit beside this window

Run your fingers through my hair

You were always there beside me

But I know you're not there

Love your Parabatai, Aissa.

***

Alyssa

I step onto the Patio and reach the door. The surge of Déjà vu only becomes stronger. I open the door feeling the wood groan beneath my hands. As I step inside to close the door, I pause and lift my head. The sense of déjà vu suddenly clicks. How. How in the hell did I know this was going to happen? How did I remember it before It had even happened?

I see the Prado approach. Forgot to delete my browser history I see. Evie, Loren and Dauson all run towards me, Loren looking especially livid. My heart constricts at the anguish I'll cause them. I cry out an apology and close the door quickly behind me.