Foretold Memories

Chapter Eighteen

"Alyssa? Are you alright?" someone asks.

I look up to find Evie's worried face and realise she is talking to me.

"Oh sorry, pardon?" I reply, still reeling at the idea that this Blaine is my Parabatai. Evie stares strangely at me, "You were looking at our picture wall when I noticed you had started to cry." She said handing me a tissue. You can't let them know about Blaine. "Oh" I reply wiping my face with the tissue "I guess it's sad that I can't remember much of these moments." Looking at the wall full of colourful photographs. "I don't seem to be in many of them, do I not like photos?" I ask, genuinely curious now.

"Oh no! You absolutely adore photos! You took almost all of these, that's why you were never in them, you had an eye I tell you. This one here is your favourite though." Evie points to the black and white photo that I saw the day I awoke. "It used to be in your room by your window seat until all this happened, we took most of your personal things out of your room just in case your memories were triggered too fast, it may break you."

That photo, it called to me, just as that window seat calls to me. "Do you think it would be alright if I took it back to the window seat? It might help being in its proper place since we know I can remember now" I smile excitedly; this might be what was missing. Maybe having my things back in their proper places, I might find a way to get through the door. That day we spent collecting all my things and placing them back in their original places.

Memories resurfaced, moments, feelings, lots and lots came rushing back. All-important moments and aspects of my life but none pertinent to how I am like this, why I am like this or who I truly was. Later than night once everyone went to sleep I sat beside the window with photograph in hand. I had practiced my breathing and perfected it, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Eyes closed, I focused on the door. Usually in this state I resurfaced memories and looked back at them, the good, the bad, the ugly. This time I will focus on the door, hoping, wishing, wanting for it to open. I sat for hours waiting for something to happen. Eventually first signs of the sun peered through my window and I decided to drift to sleep.

I awoke with a start, not remembering my dream or why I was in such a panic waking up. I sat up and realised I had dropped the photograph and the frame had smashed, causing me to wake. Too saddened by the events of the night and the sudden violent grumble of my stomach I decide I could clean the mess up later. Stepping over the broken glass I got ready for the day. I walk into the kitchen feeling like I had no soul, complete with an empty heart. I look to the clock to check the time and realise it was past mid-day. Sighing I continue to the fridge.

I know I can't tell them about Blaine. I feel as if I have to protect him no matter the cost, and I am determined to do just that. I said I love him, and that he loves me, isn't that more than enough cause to trust him? To trust these feelings? He is clearly my Parabatai and as Dauson said, these bonds take great amounts of trust and time to forge.

I open the fridge to grab the bread, jam and peanut butter. After making myself a sandwich I sit heavily down on one of the seats at the bench. In the memory it sounded as if I disliked, even hated Dauson, maybe Loren and Evie too. I just can't understand why I sounded like I hated these people, every memory I have is filled with joy. Even the ones where we are arguing. I didn't despise them, I loved them like a family, and I still do. I felt like a completely different person within the memory of Blaine. As if I didn't really belong there anymore. I have little memories of this angelic family and I. Small moments, us watching a local football game, cooking with Evie and making a complete mess, looking at Universities and their courses with Loren. No huge moments or experiences that may have changed my mind about this house of angels though. Was it because I found out they were angels? Was it what they were doing here as angels? I need answers, and soon, or I think I might combust. I growl to myself in frustration as I finish my sandwich.

I gather everyone into the lounge room getting straight to the point. "Before you all object, I need to know. How are you here? Why are you not in Heaven and doing your own angel things?" Dauson chuckles at this and I give him a stern look that now is not the time for jokes. "Why Saria?" I finish.

Everyone sits looking at each other for a moment and in silent agreement to something, Loren speaks. "Alyssa, the reason why we first came here was because of another Fallen Angel. He worked for Hell a long time ago. We kept an eye on him and his dealings but we could do nothing while he was still beside Samael. Until one day, he just disappeared, completely gone from our radars. About 140 years later he came up again. Although instead of being Samael's right hand man he was Blaine Devalos, ruler and king of the Dark Realm." My heart skips a beat. "Blaine he is a nasty piece of work Alyssa. He will kill for the fun of it, he will murder an unsuspecting mortal man in cold blood and gloat in the faces of his friends and family. His schemes are so intricate and thought out they would have the most sadistic cowering. This is what scares everyone, the fact that he has the mind to calculate so far ahead into the future that he knows what his opponents are doing before they have even thought of it. The fact that he has gained so much power and influence and no one can figure out how."

It can't be. My Blaine? "When we all originally fell from heavens graces a lot of us ravaged the earth for years upon years to strike back at our loss of purity until we eventually felt empty inside. Many of us came together to find a way to grow back into grace. Blaine was one of the few who came with us. Just as we were successful with our attempt for redemption Blaine had played us all for fools. He sabotaged our plan and managed to take most of the fallen angels, all unwillingly. He pulled them down to his own personal hell. All we know is that when they found their way back to earth they were bred into a hybrid. Some combination between a vampire and an angel. A sentient creature with the abilities of an angel but the bloodthirst and ugliness of a Vampire." That explains the creatures Evie saw. The ones I spoke too... "Heaven wants him gone more than Satan himself. They want Blaine and the Dark realm gone from the world. So we have taken it upon ourselves to do what Heaven cannot, find Blaine, slip through his defenses and bring him down. If we did this, Heaven and God would welcome us back into its graces, our redemption finally achieved."