Let Me Be the One to Save You

Chapter 33 - Tension in the band

When I finally got to sleep that night, it was about one in the morning. But just because I got to sleep, doesn't mean I stayed asleep. At around three, I woke up again and sat up into a sitting position, my legs tucked up so my chin could rest on them. Calum was asleep next me, no shirt on and just a pair of black trackies. 

It felt incredibly weird. It felt like someone was viallating my space, yet at the same time, I loved that he was next to me, just because I didn't have to feel completely alone. He was pretty cute lying there, that little pout sitting on his lips, and them cute little snores coming from his mouth. I'm not going to lie, he's really attractive.

I sighed out and started picking at my nails. The itching was coming back, and I was scared that the voices would appear soon. I itched at the scars, but it wasn't helping. It was as if my arms themselves were asking to be cut open and attacked. 

I let out a frustrated growl and kicked the covers away from me before standing up. I started pacing the floors as hot tears started to fall down my face. He's gone. He doesn't want me, like I want him. He's never wanted me. It was all just a game to him. 

My throat suddenly got dry and I felt like I was choking again. I swear I have physical breathing problems. Normal people don't choke when they breathe do they? Do they feel like they want to throw up when they've gone through heart breaks? 

Heart break. 

My heart is broken, shattered into a million little pieces all because of one boy. 

I quickly but quietly walked out of the room, making sure I didn't disturb Calum on the way out. He slept like a rock anyway, but just incase. I walked down the stairs, sighing out in annoyance as I rubbed my right eye in tiredness. I was so tired, yet I couldn't sleep at all. 

When I got to the kitchen, I flicked on the light and went straight to the cupboard to get a tea bag. When I did, I turned around and let out an ear piercing scream at the shadow that was sitting on the bench. The moon light shone from the window and landed on the side of his face. Blonde hair. "ASHTON!" I yelled, "What the fuck!" I growled, glaring at the boy who was sitting on the bench. He chuckled softly and took another sip of his beverage. 

"Uh hi?" He mumbled, "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you I ju-"

"I don't care" I glared, "I don't believe a single word you say anymore" I told him. He winced at my words, but I didn't care. How does he think I feel? He didn't even have the guts to tell me himself. If I didn't go to Landon, he wouldn't have said anything. I would have continued to date him and...

He would have won.

"Sorry" He muttered. It was a long wait for the kettle to boil, and when it did I was seriously considering chucking it on his head. That's pretty violent and brutal, but that's how my heart was feeling right now. Burnt and sensitive. 

"How could you?" I asked, glaring up at him, "How could you sit there, hold me while I cried because I have trust issues, and then lie to my face. Tell me that you care about me?" I asked him. "What about the whole I lost your number thing? You didn't lose it, did you?" I asked him, "Was any of that night the truth?" I whispered, tears falling again.

He didn't answer me, so i stopped stirring the sugar into my cup and narrowed my eyes at him, "You know what?" I asked as I grabbed my half filled cup and poured it down the sink, "Don't even answer that. I'm going to bed, where Calum is sleeping" I told him. That was a low-blow but so was making bets on poor girls. I looked at him dead in the eyes and I saw anger, sadness, and pain. 

Good.

I turned away from him and started walking away when he suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me back in surprise, "Grace wait," He mumbled. I tried tugging my arm out of his grip, but there was really not use "I will always care for you," he said quietly. I stopped fighting his grip and let him continue, "Even if we're not together, and even if we're far, far away from eachother" He mumbled.