Neighbors (Davekat)

"I Don't Care."

Be the one that just got torn into pieces:

I closed the door behind me and everything went blurry. My eyes stung from the tears I kept trying to hold back. Why am I crying? He's happy. He's found his other half, I should be happy, right? I should be happy he found someone, someone who has the honor to say he belongs to Dave. I should be happy.

I felt everything around me stop, even my heart.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Why do I care? Why are there tears coming down from my eyes? Why does it make me sick to my stomach thinking about someone touching Dave?

Why do I even care about Dave?

He is so annoying, naive, selfish, understanding, gentle, funny,.. stupid! Self absorbed! Inconsiderate! Handsome,.. but rude! Yet... attractive as hell...

Who am I fucking kidding?

I am, dare I say it, deeply in love with a guy who is deeply in love with someone else.

I stepped into the elevator, and just stood there. What was I supposed to think? What am I supposed to do?

He may be in a relationship with someone else, but it feels like he's dead, like I lost him. I can never get him back.

He will never look at me the way he looks at John.

He will never kiss me like he kisses John.

He will never love me the way he loves John.

I heard the ding from the elevator and stepped out, I felt more tears coming, and I can't cry when I'm public. These people can't see me like this.

I walked as quickly as possible to my apartment, not even taking a peak at the elevator because it felt like an eternity waiting for one.

I took out my keys and opened the door, slamming it shut on my way in. I looked around and saw Gamzee walking out from the hallway with a pie tray in hand. He went straight to the kitchen, not turning to me once, and greeted me, "Oh, HeY kArBro! ArE yOu HuNgRy? 'CaUsE i WaS jUsT fInIsHiNg Up SoMe MoThErFuCkIn' PiEs AnD-" He stepped out of the kitchen and looked at me with his huge smile, which soon turned to a frown when he saw the tears running down my face. He walked towards me and engulfed me into a huge hug.

That's when I just let go.

I cried, and screamed, and cried some more. He didn't say a word, just shushed me and held me, which was all that I needed.

I should have told him, I should have told Dave I..

What's the point? Why should I be sad over a guy who pretty much used me?

Gamzee took my hand and walked me to the couch, where we took our usual position.

My head laid on his lap while we talked for a while. Almost like a therapy session, only it actually helps me.

He sighed and asked, "wHaT hApPeNeD tOdAy?"

I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want him to see me cry over somebody, but I had to tell him.

"HE..HAS SOMEBODY." I stammered.

"WhO?" He spoke softly.

"SOME FUCKING MEGA-NERD NAMED JOHN." I admit the 'mega-nerd' comment was uncalled for, but the thought of John made me blood boil.

"It MoThErFuCkIn' HuRtS, dOeSn'T iT?"

I let out a dry laugh and wiped my eyes, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA."