Exposed (Book 1)

6. Jason

I don't know what to think or believe. How did that blog know Marquilla and I signed a PR contract? Why are they so intent on bringing Marquila down? She's not a terrible person! She can be stubborn, bossy, and clingy at times, but she never means to be anything in a malicious way. I know she'd never try to intentionally demean me; Marquie doesn't have a bad bone in her body.

At the same time, that's what makes me feel so conflicted. Whoever's in charge of that blog wanted me to read that post because they thought it'd be eye-opening or whatever, like it's something that'll make me reevaluate my life. I don't know how they got that information, but it's making me wary towards everyone around me—the people I trust the most are included. I'm not saying I don't trust them, but my instinct tells me I should be careful just in case those bloggers are right about me supposedly being taken advantage by them.

I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I should tell Skeeter, but he'll probably think I'm being non-sensible about this sudden onset of paranoia. He'd also give me a friendly reminder about the purpose of gossip blogs. Their intent is to make people feel scrutinized because they feel like they have the right to poke their noses in every aspect of a "famous" person's life. Of course they don't; they feel like they do all the damn time! When a person's life changes from being in the spotlight, they don't ask for the privacy invasion, nor do they ask for people to know every single detail of their lives unless it's written in an autobiography.

I never asked for any of the baggage that comes with being a musician. All I wanted was for my voice to be heard so I could make a better life for my family, and to possibly make a positive difference in the world. All I wanted to do was make music and perform it to the world. Everything else piled up the more my career blew up. The more records I sold, the more I saw my privacy diminish; it's worse when your significant other is in the spotlight as well.

I feel like no matter what I do, people will always try to find ways to benefit from my association. That much I can agree on. I still don't think Marquilla would be with me solely for that reason, though. Maybe when our relationship was just a contract, but not anymore now that it's the real deal. I genuinely believe she likes me for me and enjoys being in my company because she isn't as heartless as those bloggers are making her out to be. They're right that we started off as a PR stunt, but feelings develop and the relationship becomes genuine with each passing day; that's exactly what happened with us. I know I'm young and I know Marquilla loves me. That second statement is why I can truly trust her. I can also see myself spending my life with her, contract or no.

I know it sounds crazy, but I'd definitely propose to her. I'll take all of her—the good, the bad, and the ugly—because she's a great person deep down. Those bloggers may beg to differ, but that's the truth. Marquilla Guzman is simply divine, and I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. Wait, I'd want more time with my family. But...Marquie would become family if all goes well and I don't screw things up this time around.

We're two weeks into tour and so far, everything's running smoothly and everyone is getting along. I think it's because we're starting off fresh and everyone's in a better place than they were last year. There's also just something so magical about kicking off a world tour. There might be familiar faces in the crowd, but each show is different no matter where I am. The environment, the atmosphere, the culture—nothing is ever the same in two places. The excitement of all this is definitely why everyone is so chill with each other.

Today is a show day; of course it's going to be hectic. I would actually be shocked if something doesn't go wrong today. The cardinal rule for show days is that there has to be disaster no matter how big or small it may be. My money is that Marquilla will probably want her PA to get something, but then Lindsay will forget what it is, so Marquilla will scream at her. It seems like the most logical disaster to happen.