Exposed (Book 1)

20. Jason

The past few days have flown by in one swift blur. One moment Lindsay calls me up, saying Marquilla is in the hospital for substance abuse. Next thing I know, the tour's over. I don't know how so much has crammed into so little time, but it's changed my perspective towards life.

I was oblivious to nearly everything outside of tour until I received that call. My life seems so sheltered when I'm in this routine and everything revolves around me. It shows just how small of a bubble this lifestyle has me imprisoned.

Since then, I've announced an indefinite hiatus from the industry. Of course the media had a field day after I posted that message. Everything from drug problems to crippling anxiety has been speculated. Everything but the truth, that is. Nobody knows the real truth. I highly doubt they ever will.

There have been a couple farfetched headlines. I think The Sun reported that I'm quitting music to pursue a career in baking solely because my guilty pleasure is watching baking shows, particularly Great British Bake Off. I wish it was something as ridiculous as that! I'd be terrible at it, but that's what culinary school's for, right?

I just got off the plane and am being pushed through LAX by security. Apparently people know I've come back. The Flamily is smart enough to know I'd immediately come home in a situation like this. Apparently what's on the other side is a nightmare waiting to devour my sleepless soul. I really do mean it when I say "sleepless" because I haven't slept a wink since Lindsay called. I'm that concerned about Marquilla.

"You ready to head back to normalcy?" Skeeter questions as he claps a hand on my shoulder.

"I don't think I know what normalcy is, Skeet," I sigh. "My life's too much of a whirlwind to be considered slightly normal. I'd be going to house parties and worrying about student debt if I was. That's what normal kids my age do."

"Everyone has a different normal, Jase. Yours happens to be more lavish than most kids your age."

I turned twenty the night of the last show. The thing is, I don't feel like I'm not a teenager anymore. The only account of that era of my life ending is my new age: twenty. It's an anticlimactic year because even though I'm not a teen now, I still can't legally drink. I still have a year until I can do that in the States!

"How are you holding up about Marquilla?" he nags. "You going to see her after you settle in for a bit?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I spit. "Can we just get out of here? I want to go home!"

Skeeter nods his head and continues forward, shooting me a quick glance as he walks. I know he's worried; I can see it in the soft and melancholy tones in his eyes as he spoke to me.

Marquilla told me he only cares because he sees the profit behind my brand, but these past few days put that opinion to rest. He was truly there for me when I found out about what happened, and he tried to make my birthday as special and cheerful as possible. He went the extra mile to make sure I wasn't sad on my day! I couldn't have asked for a better manager.

The crowd in the terminal is absolutely manic and earsplitting screams echo from all four corners. Bright, blinding lights immediately surround me as paparazzi get in my face, shouting my name and hounding me about the hiatus. The cacophony of screams and questions only worsens the situation. It doesn't help that people are also tugging and pulling on everything within reach to grab my attention.

Regardless of all the distractions, I carry on. I follow security out of the mess until we're finally outside and I can breathe the crisp morning air.

The drive to my place is completely silent. I think everyone's scared of setting me off in some way. The last part of tour has been crazy; I haven't had a clear head as a result. It's like everything that's happened lately has placed me in one of those boxes with "fragile" written in black or red ink. I'm not that fragile! I'm just worn out and ready for a break.