Civil War {Peterick}

Chapter Thirteen

TRIGGER WARNING

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Patrick's POV

My ass hurt like hell. I guess that's what happens after sex. I don't know it was my first time, how am I supposed to know these things?

It wasn't that bad though, I mean I could still walk. I had a little limp but it was tolerable.

We walked into school, hand in hand. We got loads of stares but that's usual, we're out to the school and most people don't like that but we don't care.

I heard a few people whispering the same old crap, you know 'fags', 'losers', 'you're going to hell for this', ect. Me and Pete just ignore it though, that's what I've done my whole life. That explains my cutting.

I get, got bullied or abused by my peers if you will and Pete gets, got abused by his dad. We both cut, well did. We're a few months clean now, I suppose we've stopped each other from going near anything sharp for a while.

We grab our things from our lockers and head to the back of the school to sit with our friends before class.

Brendon and Dallon are still together and Ryan is, single, hanging in there, still our friend. I don't know. Everyone else is, everyone else. I mean I think Ryan is the only single person in our group. I think Andy and Joe are dating, Tyler and Josh, Frank and Gerard. Something along those lines.

When we sit down, I don't even bother to listen what they're saying. I focus my attention on my thoughts, mainly of Pete.

To be honest I'm so happy right now. I feel so content with Pete. Is it bad that I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Or is it too soon?

I love Pete to death and if I was ever seperated from him I don't know what I'd do.

What happens if we ever break up? What if I wasn't good enough last night? What if-

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the bell ringing, signalling that we had ten minutes to get to class. I sighed loudly and stomped to my first class, Math.

The day went by so slowly and my mood got worse every second. I feel so worn out, I just wanted to sleep forever. I feel angry for no reason. I need to get these feelings out somehow. I want to punch a wall but I want to cry. I want to cut. That's it.

I got up and went to the bathroom, no one really paying attention to me so it was easy for me to slip away from my friends unnoticed.

I walked into a stall and made sure to lock it behind me. I took out one of my blades I kept in my bag -you know just in case- and I stared at it for a while.

Do I really want to do this? My other scars are only beginning to heal. Will Pete be upset with me? He'll understand.

I rolled up my sleeves and took a deep breath. I sliced through my skin a few times and repeated on the other arm. I didn't go too deep this time, but maybe I should have. I think I deserved to do more, but I don't want to get caught. The bell rang anyways, don't want to be late.

I quickly wash off my arms and pull down my sleeves. I washed off the blade and put it back in my bag and walked to my last class, which happened to be English also known as my second favourite subject. I sat down in my regular seat next to Pete and got ready for when class started.

"Hey, where did you go at lunch?" Pete asked me.

"Bathroom." I replied and Pete gave me a look. "What I had to pee." I chuckled hoping he would buy it. He shrugged and was about to say something, until our teacher came in and started the lesson.

I was watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring. I honestly just wanted to go home and sleep. I was in such a good mood this morning. I don't know what happened to that, it's like while I was walking to school every step I took made me more upset and angry.

As soon as the bell rang, I led Pete out of that hell hole as quickly as possible. I walked a little faster than usual to get home. When I got into the house the first thing I did was flop on to the couch and close my eyes, trying to relax.

But it didn't work. I felt breathing on my face so I opened my eyes and I saw Pete crouched down with his head tilted and smiling at me. Why do I love him so much?

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Bye hoes!!